It’s ok to be Vulnerable.

She didn’t quite know how to put her words together, but I could feel it at the tips of her lips… Oh no! I hadn’t thought through how I would respond if someone actually asked about my masturbation journey in person. Woah Mama! I wasn’t ready. Yet, here I was face-to-face and challenged with my own crusade of vulnerability. She gathered her words and it came out, “Why did you choose to write about that? and why were you so open?” There it goes… that million dollar question…. “Why do I choose to be vulnerable?”

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Sunrise

Let me preface my response with this, being vulnerable is not easy for me. It’s actually very hard and yes, I am afraid of how people will respond. I’d love to throw my right fist up in the air, with the other hand on my hip, rolling my neck shouting “I don’t care what people think.” But I do. I do care if people are laughing, encouraged, upset and challenged by the nudity of my writing. So, let’s get to it…

I choose to be vulnerable because it helps me to step out of my shadow of perfection. It helps me to identify where I’m flawed, examine how I got there and then make strides to refine those areas of my life. It’s liberating. It helps me to combat my “fear of man.”And quite frankly, I value authenticity. When I am authentic, it’s an indicator that I’ve become comfortable with ‘this part of me’… and that’s attractive. Ironically, I also find peace when I confront the place in me that wants to remain unseen.

“In our anxious world, we often protect ourselves by closing off parts of our lives that leave us feeling most vulnerable. Yet invulnerability has a price. When we knowingly or unknowingly numb ourselves to what we sense threatens us, we sacrifice an essential tool for navigating uncertain times — joy.” -Brene Brown

For so long, and I am still growing in this area, I closed off parts of my life that have left me feeling “weak and exposed”– it was my way of “protecting myself.” I was defensive all the time and for no reason at all. I struggled with thoughts that I would be “judged”, that someone was “out to get me,”  or that people hadn’t made themselves “worthy of my vulnerability.” Seriously? Rather, as I’ve let down my walls, I’ve found that people are drawing closer to me and joining me in this vulnerable place. I’ve stepped down off of my pedestal of perfection into a reality that makes me accessible. I thought people would point fingers and I’d be standing there squirming to cover my nakedness, boy was I wrong! I’ve actually had people open up to me with their “deep dark secrets”… and I’m learning more than ever that I am not alone in my experiences, my thoughts and my secret struggles.

Let me bring balance to the thought  that vulnerability has only to do with “dark secrets”… it also takes vulnerability to share our heart’s desires… to my single ladies, it’s ok to desire marriage and to voice that out loud or if you don’t desire marriage, that’s ok too…. to my stay-at-home-moms, it’s ok to need a break from the children or from hubby… to my introverts, it’s ok to ask for your time of solitude…. to my extroverts, it’s ok to prefer the presence of people… to my selfie queens, vulnerability might be posting a bare face, filter-less selfie. Whatever vulnerability looks like for you… explore it… in it we experience risk and joy all at the same time!

It is my greatest hope that in sharing my life so candidly, that you would be encouraged to know that you are not alone. Life can be tough. We are communal creatures, we were not designed to live in isolation… we need people. If we can’t be vulnerable with ourselves, there’s no way we can be that with others. We have to be able to tell people, what you did hurt my feelings –or- I really felt loved when you did this for me. My most cherished relationships are with those people with whom I’ve been the most emotionally susceptible… I’m learning that it’s ok to be vulnerable.

“Through my research I’ve found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s the magic sauce.” -Brene Brown

I’m challenging you to tap into that magic sauce, let your guard down and be vulnerable.

I dare you.

Yours Vulnerably,

The Naked Writer

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PS. Thanks for journey-ing  through life with me! If you know someone who might enjoy this, share my heart with them and remember to subscribe so we can keep in touch (top right corner)! Oh yeah and comment (top left corner)! You’d be surprised how your comments encourage other readers— because other readers, do read the comments!

See you soon😉

 

8 Comments Add yours

  1. aseekerfinds says:

    “If we can’t be vulnerable with ourselves, there’s no way we can be that with others.”

    Yes.

    One of the hardest things for me growing up was being honest with myself about how I felt/thought/reacted/did – anything. I wouldn’t want to think about the areas about which I felt unsure or ashamed. And like you said, if I can’t be honest with myself, I can’t be honest with others, and I won’t be able to live in community and receive (or give) the support necessary for survival.

    Co-signing all of this post! Girl, when are you gon’ say something that I can argue with?!?! Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “One of the hardest things for me growing up was being honest with myself about how I felt/thought/reacted/did – anything.” — So glad you got this self awareness revelation. A very good one. If we can work through those spaces… we will breathe and live better 🙂

      Something you can argue with? hahahaha… I don’t know… But I’m sure you’ll let me know when I do.

      Like

  2. Esther Thomas says:

    You are speaking my truth!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! 🙂 You are totally teaching me this! Thank you for opening your life to me and showing me it’s ok…. It really is! I’ve learned so much from you in the time we’ve shared together.

      Like

  3. *TWO SNAPS*-“We were not designed to live in isolation…we need people!” Yes, yes, yes!!! I have always been what one would call a “reserved” person. At times I’d tell myself that I didn’t want to bother anyone with my problems/anxieties/fears/struggles, that everyone had a lot going on. Over time, however, I’ve discerned that pride and the desire to look like I had it all together, was so ingrained at the root of this! I too would like to throw my fist up in the air with an “I don’t care” anthem, but we’re human…and flawed. The funny thing is the more vulnerable I’ve become, the more liberated I’ve become, and the more joyously I tackle each day! Vulnerability begins when we are first and foremost honest with ourselves…and when we truly internalize the fact that He is writing our story! Thanks for sharing your heart with us, once again!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “discerned that it was pride and the desire to look like I had it all together…” —- Uummm Ditto!!! Hello! Yes! Guilty over here! So glad you’re dipping into the “magic sauce” and becoming free and happy! Thank you for sharing life with me!

      Like

  4. Melludi says:

    The last time we saw each other, I shared a few things that I instantly regretted sharing once you walked out the door. Because it made me vulnerable. Because it made me less spiritual. Because it made me a fallible human and I wanted to be so much better. But I realized that I was allowing you to access the not so great parts of me because you had first started doing so. And I’m grateful…for you and for this blog.. “When I am authentic, it’s an indicator that I’ve become comfortable with ‘this part of me’…and that’s attractive.” – and allow me to add: magnetic. Vulnerability attracts!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Because it made me a fallible human and I wanted to be so much better.” – Yes. Yes. Yes. Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. Might I add, your ‘fallible-ness’ makes you accessible. We’re all learning on the job and to hell with everyone who wants us to think they have it all together 🙂

      Like

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