Vanessa: How’s life been with you?
Me: I’m alright — still at my job. Want to be gone next year. Really doing myself a disservice by being there.
Vanessa: I hear you, feel the same way. So many people have told me I’m wasting my talents at this job. I actually thought you had already left that job.
Me: Girl — mentally, I’ve left.
<<<SHOUTING>>> So why are we still at these jobs?
The normal human response is to just quit, right? I can’t speak for Vanessa… but I will speak for myself. I am going to quit. I just don’t know when.
Let me pre-face my thoughts by saying, there is nothing wrong with the ‘job’ itself or the ‘people’ at my workplace. There is an internal frustration that keeps reminding me that my abilities extend far beyond this desk and job description. Every day that I walk into this office, I feel like I’m stepping on the neck of my potential and my progress.
I’m only 14 pages into my new book entitled “Maximizing Your Potential” by Myles Munroe — and already I can feel the pages of the book piercing into this chapter of my life. The author shares a story of his experience on the autobahn of Germany (a highway with no speed limit)… where his host invites him to go for a drive on this highway….he begins driving and could not get himself to push past 80mph, (he was so used to driving within speed restrictions, that when he got the opportunity to go beyond that, it was hard for him to let go of mental restrictions he had grown accustomed to —Lesson 1) … finally, he began driving at 115mph and passed a number of other drivers… He was thrilled and excited to leave the other drivers behind (Comparison — Lesson 2)….and then suddenly a Mercedes Benz passes him at 150mph and instantly, his 115mph felt like he was standing still. His host looks at him and says, “So you see, you are not traveling as fast as you can, only as fast as you will.” (Somebody drop The Mic! — Lesson 3)
My success isn’t based on how well I do compared to others, it’s based on how well I do compared to what I CAN do.
…and here in lies my struggle. Yes! At my job, I have excelled compared to my predecessors… but it doesn’t scratch the surface of what I’m able to do. I can not use what I have done there as a picture of success for my life —I could literally do this job in my sleep.
So what do I do? Well, I can start by quitting, right? — And I will. I can also find another job, right? — I’m not enthusiastic about that either…but eventually, I may. I dream of the day I will become a multi-million (I’ll take billion if it comes) dollar entrepreneur. Why do I need so much money you ask? I don’t need the money. I need the opportunities that money can afford me. I want to leave an inheritance for my grand children. I want to travel the world on my own time — not on that measly 2-week PTO — how pathetic is two weeks of vacation when I’m working an entire 12 months — I want to give to the causes I believe in. I want to be in control of my own life — It sucks going into an office everyday that stifles my potential, that does not challenge my growth–just because I need to pay my bills! I want OUT of this rat-race life!
I want to live a “purpose-full” life. Deep down inside of me, is the burning desire to do something that matters in this world. I want to be part of the reason someone’s life is better. I want to be the CEO and Founder of an organization known primarily for it’s altruistic work in the lives of every day people.
Death is the only thing I’m guaranteed in this life. My co-worker’s husband has been recently diagnosed with cancer— and he is fading away right before my eyes. He has not stopped ‘living’ even as he physically fades… and in my heart, I say to myself, “this man is going to die standing up, not laying down.” Yet, here I am — feeling like I’m living laying down.
What am I doing with myself before death comes for me? I am tired of taking my life and my health for granted… I’m trying to figure out HOW to live my life on purpose…and HOW I can live my best life now. I don’t need another inspirational quote — I need action steps. I’m looking forward to the journey my new read will take me on…and I am deciding to be intentional with what I learn.
I have not quite figured out how I will get to the place where…
“I don’t want to sleep, because finally my reality is better than my dreams” -Dr.Seuss
But, I am ready to learn how I can get there.
PS. Thanks for journey-ing through life with me! If you know someone who might enjoy this, share my heart with them and remember to subscribe so we can keep in touch (top right corner)! Oh yeah and comment (top left corner)! You’d be surprised how your comments encourage other readers— because other readers, do read the comments!
See you in my next blog! 🙂
The Naked Writer