Mentally, I’ve Left.

Vanessa: How’s life been with you?

Me: I’m alright — still at my job. Want to be gone next year. Really doing myself a disservice by being there.

Vanessa: I hear you, feel the same way. So many people have told me I’m wasting my talents at this job. I actually thought you had already left that job.

Me: Girl — mentally, I’ve left.

<<<SHOUTING>>> So why are we still at these jobs?

The normal human response is to just quit, right? I can’t speak for Vanessa… but I will speak for myself. I am going to quit. I just don’t know when.

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Let me pre-face my thoughts by saying, there is nothing wrong with the ‘job’ itself or the ‘people’ at my workplace. There is an internal frustration that keeps reminding me that my abilities extend far beyond this desk and job description. Every day that I walk into this office, I feel like I’m stepping on the neck of my potential and my progress.

I’m only 14 pages into my new book entitled “Maximizing Your Potential” by Myles Munroe — and already I can feel the pages of the book piercing into this chapter of my life. The author shares a story of his experience on the autobahn of Germany (a highway with no speed limit)… where his host invites him to go for a drive on this highway….he begins driving and could not get himself to push past 80mph, (he was so used to driving within speed restrictions, that when he got the opportunity to go beyond that, it was hard for him to let go of mental restrictions he had grown accustomed to —Lesson 1) … finally, he began driving at 115mph and passed a number of other drivers… He was thrilled and excited to leave  the other drivers behind (Comparison — Lesson 2)….and then suddenly a Mercedes Benz passes him at 150mph and instantly, his 115mph felt like he was standing still. His host looks at him and says, “So you see, you are not traveling as fast as you can, only as fast as you will.” (Somebody drop The Mic! — Lesson 3) 

My success isn’t based on how well I do compared to others, it’s based on how well I do compared to what I CAN do.

…and here in lies my struggle. Yes! At my job, I have excelled compared to my predecessors… but it doesn’t scratch the surface of what I’m able to do. I can not use what I have done there as a picture of success for my life —I could literally do this job in my sleep.

So what do I do? Well, I can start by quitting, right? — And I will. I can also find another job, right? — I’m not enthusiastic about that either…but eventually, I may. I dream of the day I will become a multi-million (I’ll take billion if it comes) dollar entrepreneur. Why do I need so much money you ask? I don’t need the money. I need the opportunities that money can afford me. I want to leave an inheritance for my grand children. I want to travel the world on my own time — not on that measly 2-week PTO — how pathetic is two weeks of vacation when I’m working an entire 12 months —  I want to give to the causes I believe in. I want to be in control of my own life — It sucks going into an office everyday that stifles my potential, that does not challenge my growth–just because I need to pay my bills! I want OUT of this rat-race life!

I want to live a “purpose-full” life. Deep down inside of me, is the burning desire to do something that matters in this world. I want to be part of the reason someone’s life is better. I want  to be the CEO and Founder of an organization known primarily for it’s altruistic work in the lives of every day people.

Death is the only thing I’m guaranteed in this life. My co-worker’s husband has been recently diagnosed with cancer— and he is fading away right before my eyes. He has not stopped ‘living’ even as he physically fades… and in my heart, I say to myself, “this man is going to die standing up, not laying down.” Yet, here I am — feeling like I’m living laying down.

What am I doing with myself before death comes for me? I am tired of taking my life and my health for granted… I’m trying to figure out HOW to live my life on purpose…and HOW I can live my best life now. I don’t need another inspirational quote — I need action steps. I’m looking forward to the journey my new read will take me on…and I am deciding to be intentional with what I learn.

I have not quite figured out how I will get to the place where…

“I don’t want to sleep, because finally my reality is better than my dreams” -Dr.Seuss

But, I am ready to learn how I can get there.

PS. Thanks for journey-ing  through life with me! If you know someone who might enjoy this, share my heart with them and remember to subscribe so we can keep in touch (top right corner)! Oh yeah and comment (top left corner)! You’d be surprised how your comments encourage other readers— because other readers, do read the comments!

See you in my next blog! 🙂

Yours Vulnerably,

The Naked Writer

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28 Comments Add yours

  1. You have just spelled out my whole life. I know I’m going to quit, I just don’t know when. I know I have so much more to offer than what I’m currently doing now so I’m planning step by step to finally live out my dreams.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Sharon! Yep those were my exact sentiments about a year ago. And literally, 13 months after publishing this blog, I’ve moved on from that job and it feels great! I’m like “why didn’t I do this sooner!” Lol

      Welcome to the Vulnerabite family and do keep me posted on your journey— hope to see a blog about it soon!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you and I most certainly will!

        Like

  2. aseekerfinds says:

    *snaps, snaps, and more snaps*

    Being in public health, I steady hear people trying to declare that individuals studying public health are in it for the cause, and not for the money – because they believe there is no money in this field.

    I’ve begun to refuse to let folks make statements like that and speak about me in the same sentence. A statement like that can get me lulled into believing that I can’t do anymore than my peers or the “public health greats” who have come before me. You just fired me up with that purpose-full segment and the section on why I want to make the m/b/trillions+. I’m in school with folks who have the illest inheritances from their parents and grandparents. I want my generations to inherit a legacy of strength, beauty, and wealth. Not debt!!!

    Anywho. I’m catching up on all your posts that I missed, and reading this at the start of my school year is really helping my mindset and perspective – so I focus on Jesus, me, and His purpose for my life – instead of on others or society’s definition of who I should/can/won’t be.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “You just fired me up” — That was my goal. #MissionAccomplished

      Like

  3. She Speaks says:

    “Every day that I walk into this office, I feel like I’m stepping on the neck of my potential and my progress.”

    Ouch! Powerful statement.

    Most of us have mentally left our jobs. Yet, why are we still physically present?

    Comfort/Convenience vs. (Insert here)

    I too am tired of the rat race and ready to embark on a new path.

    In the meantime, I’ve decided to capitalize on new opportunities thrown my way. In the end, I will have expanded my portfolio and skills set.

    Thanks for sharing!

    I

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Why am I still physically present? Because it’s a steady source of income… And I can’t pay my bills with a check that says “currently following my passion, please defer payment until I’m successful” 😏 — tired of the rat race for sure! Thanks for journeying alongside of me!

      Like

  4. SUN says:

    You have poured something in me that can’t spill out… It is refreshing to know that stepping out of your comfort zone is hard; but not impossible. We need to trust that God has our back and no amount of bills is ever too much for him to take care of. With that being said… WE need to develop a plan of action that aligns with OUR destiny and not that cookie cutter standard of life. (School & Work). This society is designed to make employees and NOT entrepreneurs. We have soooooo much more to offer and need to trust ourselves and our GOD-given talents 😘. Be blessed everyone!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Its hard— but not impossible! Yes! Designed to make employees not entrepreneurs! You hit the nail on the head Madam Sun! Thank you for sharing these nuggets with us! Muah!

      Like

  5. 3000 says:

    Excellent read!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My faithful reader 🙂 I Love You.

      Like

  6. AR says:

    This was excellent! The thought of going in to a job everyday that gives no fulfillment is a sad life. So many people do it. I had a meeting with a young lady this morning who is at a crossroads. She does well financially but feels there has to be more to life than this. Desiring to live life on purpose. Realizing she has set herself up to run on that hamster wheel. Not even another promotion will do the trick this time! Her saying no, finally caught the attention of her bosses. Why is it that so many just settle? Don’t!! Go for all that his life has to offer and be like Dr. Seuss! Love this! Keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! Who would have thought that there is a little more to life than being financially well! lol… It would be a great start for me though… lol… Yes! That hamster wheel gets so many of us every time! It’s what we see— it’s all we know! I’m trying to get my Dr.Seuss on indeed! 🙂

      Like

  7. Yes to LIVING ON PURPOSE!!! That comfort zone and fear of the unknown can be a stumbling block! Walking in our purpose is definitely a process. I have had co-workers who you can clearly see no longer find the same amount of joy in what they do as they once did, yet, there’s a level of comfort in sticking with “the familiar.” I am currently seeking discernment for the next step. I still give 110% everyday, but I’m definitely looking forward, because this current position for me is part of the journey, but certainly not the destination! I am at times weary and burdened by the “stuff” I encounter at work, but I understand that it’s part of MY story…I definitely feel the mental distance setting in which means…Welp! Time to go! Praying for wisdom!! Awesome post!! Thanks for once again sharing your heart with us!!😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You hit it right on the head lady… your job and my job is just part of the journey— definitely NOT the destination! Yes! Praying for wisdom and discerning our next steps… totally key! Thank you for so faithfully journeying alongside of me!!! MUAH!

      Like

  8. LouVil says:

    You’re an outstanding writer😋 if I weren’t at work I may have shed a tear simply because it speaks so much to what I feel and although I’ve made notable progress it’s not my best effort and your entry was yet another reality check that I both need and very much appreciate. MUAH, Big Hugs. Please keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your words encourage me! — It’s not our best effort … Glad that my own reality check could offer you one as well! Let’s Choose to Live Differently.

      Like

  9. Dina says:

    Such an amazing read! This truly hit home in every aspect for me. An awakening and inspiring article I must add. I love the anology and comparison used. Sometimes we limit ourselves and forget to grow. Again an amazing read and a great reminder that we are more than our job title.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! Exactly! — we forget to grow!!!! Encouraged that you could relate to where I’m at… Sometimes we feel alone on the journey, but often— others are just waiting for someone to say it out loud! 🙂

      Like

  10. Vanessa says:

    This is totally the same thing I’m going through just working to pay the bills. Just existing to get through another work day staring at the clock where all I do is look forward to the weekend and become depressed when Sunday comes. I told a friend of mine once that I felt stuck and she said your only stuck in your mind. That motivated me to start taking measures to get out of a job that I can also do in my sleep. A coworker told me I’m wasting my time and gifts at this place and need to move on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! Just existing to get through another day! —- this can’t be our lives! This can not be all that life has to offer. We’re supposed to live abundantly! So proud of you for taking measures to get out of your current job! Looking forward to the new journey life takes you on with the new move!

      Like

  11. Melludi says:

    It’s clear you’d much rather live a life of significance rather than just (monetary) success. That’s admirable. I can totally relate to feeling stagnant in the workplace or just in life in general! I think there is definitely something innate in the way God designed us as human beings that compels us to effect change in the world around us. It’s our “calling”… and I’m praying God gives you the opportunity to marry your talents with your heart’s desire in order to fulfill His calling on your life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The opportunity to “marry my talents with my heart’s desires” — yes…yes… yes…. Two Snaps!!! You are a poet Madam Melludi!! You are exactly right… it is our “calling” that tugs on us — if only we would just move 🙂

      Like

  12. Kay says:

    Great read! The security of a paycheck keeps a lot of talented individuals who are meant to be entrepreneurs slaves to the rat race. Yes, taking the entrepreneurship leap is scary, but well worth it! I have no doubt that you’re going to make an awesome boss lady, and I’m excited to see your story unfold.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes girl!! The security of a paycheck is like some invisible leash…and it keeps me chained to this desk, day in and day out. But I’m tired… this cant be my life! #LetTheStoryUnfold #TeamVision

      Like

  13. Sistah sistah says:

    Wow! This blog right here is timely! “I feel like I’m livin laying down!”. Scary thought.
    I’m glad that you are experiencing this strong desire to move on up a little higher. We have been created with power in God’s image to demonstrate his greatness! We are His creation. We weren’t created to live ineffective and powerless lives. In the meantime, learn the lessons and make the connections at your current job. Prepare and begin taking necessary steps towards your next season. Nothing is stopping us but us!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! Yes! Yes! Nothing is stopping me but ME!!! #MovingOnUp #ALittleHigher

      Like

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