When I received her call on Sunday afternoon, her shaky voice betrayed her. She wanted to share her heart in strength, but in this moment she was weak. I listened in silence. I had no words. I wanted to share this experience with all of you, but knew this was a story that had to come straight from the source. I Love You.
My sweet Vulnera-bites, let’s show my dear friend some love as she taps into this very vulnerable space…
She was Cinderella
And I was her ugly step sister
A reoccurring thought
I was finally in a good place
I did my work (insert Iyanla Fix my Life)
I loved myself
Almost instantly, I found myself right back at mile marker “zero”
She and I had our usual chat after church service
She mentioned the new guy at church and that he might be a good fit for me
Another person interested in blowing the dust off of my love life
I smiled and leaned in for more details
As we were walking out of the building, we ran into him
There it was — that all too familiar emotion
I saw as his eyes locked into hers
And suddenly I felt invisible again.
Yep, there’s no way he would be interested in me.
She was Cinderella
…and I was the ugly step sister…
Surely this Prince wasn’t for me
I walked away.
Go into my car and I wept.
I’ve wrestled with comparison most of my life
Much of this is rooted in rejection
Stained from a traumatic childhood
The silent whispers
“You’re not good enough”
“You’ll never be her”
Why was this resurfacing in my life?
Perhaps, it was the loneliness I was beginning to feel again
I watched everyone around me be pursued, wedded and enter motherhood
Why didn’t anyone want me?
Am I not good enough?
The truth is…
I’m not simply good enough
I am Fearfully and wonderfully made
The apple of God’s eyes
I’ll never be anyone else but me
My identity is sealed in Him.
She didn’t make me feel like the ugly stepsister
I projected my feelings of unworthiness unto her
I made my friend my measuring stick
I need to see myself through the lens of my Heavenly Father
I must learn to love myself in the same way in which my Heavenly Father loves me
I must give myself permission to be my most authentic self
No carbon copies here
I must learn to celebrate the uniqueness, beauty, gifts of others without devaluing myself
“Comparison will either lead you into pride or insecurity, but resting in God’s unique love for you will set you free.” – Lisa Bevere
I have not arrived yet
I am pressing toward the mark daily
Learning to be honest about my feelings
Continuing to pursue healing (it’s a journey)
And reminding myself of who and whose I am. – She Speaks
“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else” – Iyanla Vanzant