It Really Bothers Me When…

I was about ready to flip over this table and we were all going to get a close-up of the “Incredible Mac.” I just smiled and waited for him to finish.

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“Blah. Blah. Blah.” He was going on and on about how single women needed to “focus on preparing themselves before their husbands would come.” RRROOOAAAARRRR!!!!! I had the eye of a tiger and everyone was going to hear me roar. Thank you Katy Perry.

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Here’s what I have to say…STOP TELLING SINGLE MEN AND WOMEN THAT! Yes! I’m soon approaching marriage, but not far enough from single hood to not remember what it’s like.  That side note was for you #2. And not to mention, I’ve nominated myself as The Single Advocate 🙂

It really bothers me when I hear people tell singles:

1.) Prepare yourself and your mate will come.

Exhibit 1 A: Preparing myself is for me… not for the hope of a partner. I learned to cook, because Mac needs to eat. I keep my home, because Mac lives there. And the list goes on.

Exhibit 1 B:Not to mention, that comment gives an illusion, that once all my “Self Prep” boxes have been checked, the love of my life will come prancing into my life.

Exhibit 1 C: Those of us who are in relationships and married know all too well that our partners have become our best mirrors. They show us all the check boxes we missed during our “Single Self Prep” years.

2.) If I desire marriage and I’m still single, then it means “God is still working on me OR them.”

Exhibit 2 A: Sooooo, God ain’t working on those people in a relationship? I’m done.

3.) Just focus on my purpose and God will bring my spouse.

Exhibit 3 A: SHUT UP! You’re only saying that because you don’t know what else to say. So if my spouse hasn’t come yet, it’s because I haven’t focused on my purpose enough?

4.) Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Exhibit 4 A: This is not an answer to receiving a spouse. What about all the unbelievers who are not delighting in the Lord, yet have received a spouse? Does it mean that I haven’t delighted in the Lord enough, prayed enough, gone to church enough, served enough?

5.) And My favorite: Wait on God.

Exhibit 5 A: So, if I’m not already waiting… what am I doing? Please don’t get me started. Let me bring some balance to this thought, my opinion is that, being “intentional” with my desire for marriage by voicing my desire to my loved ones, going out to mix and mingle, online dating, just regular dating, making sure I slay when I step out the house, doesn’t mean that I’m not “waiting”— it just means I am  “creating opportunities” to meet someone.

Just like being at a new airport for the first time, I never quite know where I’m  going, but I follow the signs! And even if I go the wrong way, the closed doors will point me back in the right direction. I believe God guides us the same way in our  lives, including our love lives!

6.) And My Favorite Favorite : The One Just Hasn’t Come Yet.

(Stay Tuned For A Future Blog-He’s Not The One)

So what am I really trying to say?

There is nothing we can DO to EARN a spouse. It’s not a ‘reward’ for being a “good Christian.”

So what would I rather people say?

Hi Single Friend, I have someone (a potential partner) I’d like to introduce you to.

Let’s stop insinuating that ‘singles’ are somehow ‘not ready’ – and that’s why it hasn’t happened for them ——-because I know some “not fully baked” people in relationships. #NoComment

So, Dear Vulnera-bites, what are some of your “favorite” lines from people about the single life?

Comment please 🙂

Yours Vulnerably,

The Naked Writer

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PS. Thanks for journey-ing  through life with me! If you know someone who might enjoy this, share my heart with them and remember to subscribe so we can keep in touch (top right corner)! Oh yeah and comment (top left corner)! You’d be surprised how your comments encourage other readers— because other readers, do read the comments! Don’t you? lol

27 Comments Add yours

  1. Truth be told, I tune people out when they start this convo! 😂My immediate thoughts are: “Sista/brotha, why are you so concerned? Are you paying my bills??? Dannng!” Hahaha! The same people who ask “Girl, why are you still single??” are the same ones who are quick to say “You have time!” Lol. Well, first of all, you don’t know how much “time” I have, fool! Back off! 🙄….Great post!!! Sooo true! I’ve definitely heard every single one of these! But I love what Paul says about learning the secret to contentment, in every season! It’s standing firm on His truth! He knows what and who I need in my life at any given time! I have been amazed at the different people God’s brought into my life (male & female alike)…and sometimes, for a season…and that’s OK! 🙆🏾I done wrote a novel response again!😳🙈*TWO SNAPS*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “You have time!” — YES! Another popular one! lol … and YES… Two Snaps!! lol

      Like

  2. Esther says:

    Yassssssss! Absolutely love this! – we were you when I was single! lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Joelle Isidor says:

    Now I know a lot of Christian women are waiting on a Boaz, but a great friend of mine opened my eyes to a Jacob. Now, this brother worked for 14 years to get the woman he loved. Boaz isn’t bad, but a Jacob…now that’s something else.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha…. right! Another good one!

      Like

  4. Joelle Isidor says:

    My favorite, “What are you waiting for?”…now I know what I want to say, but I have a mantra in my head…you are a Christian…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dina says:

    Love it! Everything you said was on point! Really, just common sense. But people seem to think there’s more to it. Reading this was a joy and brought me laughter at the same time lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. D! Girl… every time I think about this stuff, I just laugh. I had to challenge someone in their thoughts TODAY about this…. I was tempted to tell them to check out my blog! Lol

      Like

  6. sunloveraliciareg says:

    I love this post, because you’re so right! People say rubbish sometimes… it’s all because they have nothing to say. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha… yes! If you have nothing to say, don’t say anything. Exactly.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. T says:

    Exhibit 3A- you had me at the “shut up” LOL

    this blog post is the absolute TRUTH!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bahahahaaaaaaaaa … don’t make me laugh!

      Like

  8. Val says:

    This right here!!!! You said it all!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha…Thanks Val!

      Like

  9. 3000 says:

    You hit the nail on the head with this one. Thought it was only me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nope… It’s me too… Thank you Mr.3000!

      Like

  10. Vanessa says:

    This is comical. I hear these all the time and have believed some of them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. VP! Be free sis! Be free!

      Like

  11. thirtynwordy says:

    I definitely agree with your sentiments about doing things in life for your own purposes (i.e. cooking, cleaning, etc.), not just to please someone else in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s exactly right 😌

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Joelle Isidor says:

      I am usually a respectful person, but say some mess to me about needing to cook or I won’t find a man…the response is quick and cutting…and I make no apologies.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Kay Luv says:

    All I’ve got to say is drop the mic.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahahahaha… Done.

      Like

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