I was about ready to flip over this table and we were all going to get a close-up of the “Incredible Mac.” I just smiled and waited for him to finish.
“Blah. Blah. Blah.” He was going on and on about how single women needed to “focus on preparing themselves before their husbands would come.” RRROOOAAAARRRR!!!!! I had the eye of a tiger and everyone was going to hear me roar. Thank you Katy Perry.
Here’s what I have to say…STOP TELLING SINGLE MEN AND WOMEN THAT! Yes! I’m soon approaching marriage, but not far enough from single hood to not remember what it’s like. That side note was for you #2. And not to mention, I’ve nominated myself as The Single Advocate 🙂
It really bothers me when I hear people tell singles:
1.) Prepare yourself and your mate will come.
Exhibit 1 A: Preparing myself is for me… not for the hope of a partner. I learned to cook, because Mac needs to eat. I keep my home, because Mac lives there. And the list goes on.
Exhibit 1 B:Not to mention, that comment gives an illusion, that once all my “Self Prep” boxes have been checked, the love of my life will come prancing into my life.
Exhibit 1 C: Those of us who are in relationships and married know all too well that our partners have become our best mirrors. They show us all the check boxes we missed during our “Single Self Prep” years.
2.) If I desire marriage and I’m still single, then it means “God is still working on me OR them.”
Exhibit 2 A: Sooooo, God ain’t working on those people in a relationship? I’m done.
3.) Just focus on my purpose and God will bring my spouse.
Exhibit 3 A: SHUT UP! You’re only saying that because you don’t know what else to say. So if my spouse hasn’t come yet, it’s because I haven’t focused on my purpose enough?
4.) Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Exhibit 4 A: This is not an answer to receiving a spouse. What about all the unbelievers who are not delighting in the Lord, yet have received a spouse? Does it mean that I haven’t delighted in the Lord enough, prayed enough, gone to church enough, served enough?
5.) And My favorite: Wait on God.
Exhibit 5 A: So, if I’m not already waiting… what am I doing? Please don’t get me started. Let me bring some balance to this thought, my opinion is that, being “intentional” with my desire for marriage by voicing my desire to my loved ones, going out to mix and mingle, online dating, just regular dating, making sure I slay when I step out the house, doesn’t mean that I’m not “waiting”— it just means I am “creating opportunities” to meet someone.
Just like being at a new airport for the first time, I never quite know where I’m going, but I follow the signs! And even if I go the wrong way, the closed doors will point me back in the right direction. I believe God guides us the same way in our lives, including our love lives!
6.) And My Favorite Favorite : The One Just Hasn’t Come Yet.
So what am I really trying to say?
There is nothing we can DO to EARN a spouse. It’s not a ‘reward’ for being a “good Christian.”
So what would I rather people say?
Hi Single Friend, I have someone (a potential partner) I’d like to introduce you to.
Let’s stop insinuating that ‘singles’ are somehow ‘not ready’ – and that’s why it hasn’t happened for them ——-because I know some “not fully baked” people in relationships. #NoComment
So, Dear Vulnera-bites, what are some of your “favorite” lines from people about the single life?
Comment please 🙂
The Naked Writer
PS. Thanks for journey-ing through life with me! If you know someone who might enjoy this, share my heart with them and remember to subscribe so we can keep in touch (top right corner)! Oh yeah and comment (top left corner)! You’d be surprised how your comments encourage other readers— because other readers, do read the comments! Don’t you? lol