Hey Vulnerabites…. Let me begin with my reverse Beyonce lyrics… “I AM Sorry!” I’m sorry because I was considering hanging an “OUT OF ORDER” sign over our “Naked Space.” In light of that, I want to thank my dear friend Ms.McCullough for calling me “petty” two days ago.#RollingMyEyes. Snuggle up My Vulnerabites, we are going to get cozy!
Let me keep it “one-hunnen” with you… this blog space is a continual ‘heart check’ for me — it forces me to ask myself, “WHY are you doing this Mac?” — When I started this blog with “Confidently Insecure”, it was to create an authentic space where I could be “human in my faith” — because we all know the “Saints” are semi-divine beings, and I’m not that — and invite others to join me here. If my goal is to create an ‘intimate’ space, than perhaps my desire for 500 likes, shares and followers is rooted in something else. I’ma call this devil by it’s name— The need to be important is bothering me. Why don’t I have more subscribers? Why aren’t more people commenting? Why don’t I have more views? Why do I even have to ask people to share the blog? Isn’t that what people do when they’ve had a good read— maybe my blogs just aren’t a good read… Hhhmmm… Lol. Where are all the people who raved about my writing and haven’t even subscribed? — And don’t get me started on the responses that never come when I share my new post in a group text. HHHmmm… #2, we’re not going there, right? We’ve forgiven them and have accepted that sometimes support will come from those you LEAST expected, or weren’t even expecting.
OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
Cheers to acknowledging where I am…and being able to grow, because now I have clarity on where I stand.
I should really be saying… “Mac, look at the followers you DO have. The views you DO have. The people who ARE commenting.” — Who am I that even 50 people take the time to read, share and comment on MY thoughts. Who am I?
What if my blog seriously just encourages ONE person— or NO ONE at all…. then what? Do I stop writing? I thought I was writing because I actually LIKE TO WRITE and not because people are watching. — Another Heart Check.
Ms.McCullough— this is for you. Thank you for calling me out of my “petty-ness” and forcing me (unknowingly to you) to take a good look in the mirror and re-examine my motives for writing. I Love You. You shower me with that tough, raw, uncut, candid love… that “take two looks at that text you just sent” and ask myself “did she really just say that?” kinda love.
With all that being said… I have a #TMC post coming soon…. See you then… or Not, I’m going to write it anyway. #Growing
The Naked Writer
PS. Thanks for journey-ing through life with me! If you know someone who might enjoy this, share my heart with them and remember to subscribe so we can keep in touch (top right corner)! Oh yeah and comment (top left corner)! You’d be surprised how your comments encourage other readers— because other readers, do read the comments! Don’t you? lol