Oh yes! It’s about to go down! lol. Hey Vulnerabites… Can I just sloppy wet smooch everyone on the other side of this screen? The love has been real! The last two times I shared my “heart in words”, I got over 500 hits! Whoop! Whoop! I’m looking forward to the day I can add a comma to that number 🙂 Can a girl dream? I’m excited about my International Vulnerabites from Canada, Barbados, Ireland, UK, Austria, India, Australia, Honduras and Uganda!!! Thank you. Thank You. Thank You. Happy to Have You!
Let’s get to it Ladies & Gents (Yes! I have male readers… ok, maybe just two…lol)
When I was single, nobody told me to …. wait for it…. Go out and date!
Yes! Yes! Yes! I do believe that Christians should date. I’m going to tell you why in a minute, but first let me share my collection of “Single Girl” reads that I would lay right next to my Bible as I sought out “dating advice for those of us behind the veil, on the holy mountain, behind the first two cherubims on the left side of the sanctuary, pass the second door of purity into the holy of holies closet that’s right next to where Jesus walked and Peter sneezed.”
Lady in Waiting–The Lady, Her Lover and Her Lord—Sassy, Single & Satisfied—Boy Meets Girl—Boundaries in Dating—Worth the Wait—Sacred Search— Promises from God for Women—The Dating Manifesto—The Five Love Languages—I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
Uuumm… Joshua Harris…Negative!… I’m going to Kiss Dating “Hello! Hey! How You Doing?”
These books are all great! Thank you to the authors for taking the time to do their research and share their insight with us. I appreciate you. Now that I’ve inserted my politically correct piece, nobody will come for me and my blog… here is what annoyed me most about “books for singles”… they can all be summed up like this… Ready? … “Don’t Have Sex. Wait on God.”
Am I lying? Come on somebody, AM —–I—– LYING? All I ever heard was, “Wait and Pray.” What if I was encouraged earlier to “Pray and Seek” instead?
Whenever I’ve looked for a job in my life…I prayed (that was for the saints), decided what I wanted and then I SEARCHED & INTERVIEWED for one.. Same Concept. These “singles books”didn’t challenge me to “engage in my search.” I just woke up one morning and decided that I would. Where are the books that tell me “Go out on Game Days! That’s when all the men come out!” Or even “How to wink at the cutie in the gym staring at me.” That was for you Sarah!…lol
Where are the books with “practical steps to meeting a man” for Singles? #I’mAboutToStartASeries #JustKidding
Here is Page 1 from My Experience…
1.) I smiled back at him. — Even if I didn’t like him, even if I made up my mind about him, even if I’d rather be talking to his homeboy… I always smiled back. Smiling is warm and inviting, it removed the intimidation of my “resting black girl face” and it made me — wait for it— APPROACHABLE! How do you expect to meet your husband if no one ever approaches you?
2.) I went out with ONE friend at a time. — Seriously. My friend and I were taking a stroll in Italy (y’all see that humble brag) and this guy just walked up to us and started talking to us… we didn’t speak Italian, but somehow he guessed we might speak French…before we knew it, he came with a friend later on that night and Boom! A double date in less than 24 hours.
3.) Even if I wasn’t interested, I’d say “Yes to the date!” — Uh Uh Mac! Why’d you waste his time and lead him on? I see it differently. It was my way of commending him on the guts he had to approach me and not to mention it helped me get comfortable talking with the opposite sex. It gave me room to “practice” without any pressure…AND it’ll also boost his confidence the next time he thinks about approaching a woman. See? I’m thinking about the other ladies who are tired of men not stepping to them. If men keep getting shut down, eventually they will shut down. Don’t shoot me… Take the advice or leave it right here on this screen for the next reader.
4.) I made sure he “saw” me. — This might seem shallow, and it is… but men ARE visual. Sistah too deep, stay over there in your corner with that “He should love me for what’s on the inside.” He will. Just not right away. Men had to be attracted to what they “saw” when they looked at me, before deciding they even wanted to know my name. Ladies, we can still be CLASSY and seen. That dress should be tight enough for him to know you’re a woman and loose enough for him to know you’re a lady. Come on! So, ladies (and gents) get to the gym, buy some new clothes, do your hair! Come on boo!
5.) I didn’t stop dating. — When I decided that I was going to start dating, I REALLY started dating. In the span of two months… I dated a bass player from Brooklyn, the cable guy who hit on me at work, a Belgium soccer player I met in Italy, a banker from Westchester and an Indian guy from my public speaking group. I was in the season of saying “YES!” to every guy that asked me out, even if I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I had fun! It made for great stories and laughs with my girlfriends! For the first time I felt like I was at the front of the buffet dating line, picking out only what I wanted from all these guys and then sitting down to the final meal of my bae 🙂
My sweet Vulnerabites, What have you learned from dating? Or NOT dating? I’m curious…
PS. If this is your first time here, or second and third, but you’re not subscribed, I’d love it if you would stay — Just hit the “Follow+” button in the bottom right hand of your phone screen and a “Sign Me Up” box will appear– it’s that easy…and you’ll be first in line with total access to my naked truths.