I Got Tested Again.

Hey Vulnerabites,

This is it! The last part of My Trilogy… You’ll need to read this first and then this… so that you’ll be able to savor what happens here… Go read those and I’ll be here waiting for you…

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“It looks like you have cleared the virus to a negative level.”

SELAH.

I grabbed my keys, ran out of my apartment and attempted to drive away. In between my wailing and gasping for air, I didn’t make it out of the parking lot. I was crying hysterically.

jamie-street-207824

Just like that. It was gone. I was UnMarked. I would no longer have to remember my ‘first’ with this Scarlet H.

In His mercy, God didn’t just forgive me, but he literally wiped away every trace of my sin. I could now write alongside the Psalmist…

Praise the Lord who forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.” Psalm 103:3 

Two nights before I returned to see the same doctor who had diagnosed me… I was in my room, journaling and listening to worship music, when God interrupted my thoughts with a  conversation that went something like this…

God: Mac, I want to use you.

Me: Oh yeah God, I hear you. I’m already serving in the video ministry and the campus ministry, you want me to do something else?

God: (silence) —I knew what he meant, he wanted me to stop hiding.

Me: No God, I’m good. People are going to find out I have this disease and they’re not going to want to be around me, I think this set-up I have going on now, is best for everybody.

God: I healed you a long time ago.

Me: Yeah, I know God. I’m healed of my bitterness and un-forgiveness. Thank You very much.

God: (silence) — I knew he meant physically, but my mind couldn’t fathom how that could’ve been possible.

There was only one way to find out if I had really heard from God.

I didn’t have to lay naked on that hard brown bed, this time I sat in the chair. I asked her, “What are the chances that I don’t have Herpes anymore?

“Slim to none,” she responded. “Even if you haven’t had an outbreak, it is a viral disease and remains in your blood for life.”

I could hear the heaviness in her voice, she didn’t want to break this devastating news to me twice. She tried to discourage me from getting tested again.

I didn’t have the audacity then to say, “God told me He healed me woman! Get this test done… Quickly!” Instead, I told her that I understood her concerns, but would take my chances and get tested again.

I started to doubt that I had actually heard from God. Maybe it was just my deepest heart desire revealing itself in my thoughts.

There was no turning back now, I was already sitting in the lab chair with that blood pumping rubber band around my arm.

My truth came in a white envelope a week later and this was inside…

TESTIMONY Pg 2 Edited
The doctor scribbled on the side my report: “It looks like you have cleared the virus to a negative level.” -Phylis
I went from open-blister-like-canker-sores invading my most intimate place to test results showing the virus had been cleared to a negative level.

The next day I went to the student clinic and asked the clerk for a copy of all my medical records.  I went home and stared at the two reports side by side… checking my name, social security number, birthday and patient number to make sure they all matched. It was all accurate.

I was witnessing a miracle.

God healed me.

SELAH.

This was my new  reality. I was an 18 year old girl who had been diagnosed with Herpes and two years later, I was a 20 year old girl who had been healed of a disease my doctor told me I would carry around for the rest of my life.

At 28 years old (10 years later in a new state), I went to get tested again and my results came back negative again. My new doctor doesn’t know my story, yet as I pressed her about my genital herpes results, she reassured me that my test had come back negative and it’s not possible that I ever had genital herpes and mailed my results to confirm it.

So, Vulnerabites, here I stand before you, a young lady ‘touched by God,’ who wants the world to know that God Still Heals.

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My Final Thoughts:

  1. This isn’t a testimony of healing, but of God’s mercy. Mercy is being spared the repercussions of my actions.
  2. If God doesn’t heal someone physically, it doesn’t mean He loves them any less… it only means He wants to use them differently.
  3. Being healed doesn’t negate the experience of my initial diagnosis… I still went through the emotional and physical devastation of living with the disease.

Vulnerabites, Thank you so much for ‘unpacking’ this experience with me. After publishing my initial post, I realized that this time in my life holds so much more content than three blog posts, I think I may have to write a book after all, but it is my hope that someone is encouraged by what God Has Done Through Me.

Yours Vulnerably,

The Naked Writer

Come and Get to Know Me on Instagram , Twitter and Facebook

PS. Oh and a gentle reminder to subscribe ๐Ÿ™‚

13 Comments Add yours

  1. racpanos says:

    You’re truly blessed! To God be all the glory!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. to GOD… be ALL of it ๐Ÿ™‚ Amen.

      Like

  2. aseekerfinds says:

    Selah, indeed.

    Talk about a lesson for me in how God does (not just “God can do…” but God DOES) exceedingly and abundantly beyond all we could ever imagine, ask, or think. My. God. No, I’m not saying His name in vain. But literally sitting here struck with the awesome, larger than life, expansive, wondrous nature of an Almighty God who sees all of our needs and personally addresses us with faithful love…even if an outcome isn’t what I’d wanted, as you said – there’s a bigger story and purpose in which He’ll use me. I’m walking away from The Trilogy really hit with how much each of us matters to God. And all I can say and do is…SELAH.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not just a “can do” God… But a “God who does” ….. Amen! SELAH.

      Like

  3. #2 says:

    โค All I can say is, but God!

    Like

    1. BUT God ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Like

  4. AMEN!!! God still heals. YES!! Thank you for sharing!!! Indeed, we each have yo have our own experiences with God! How awesome He has shown Himself faithful to you through this! And uhummm to “I think I will have to write a book after all”…Hello!!๐Ÿ˜‰ Yessssss!!! We’ll be waiting!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! God still heals ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ
      About that book ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜

      Like

  5. katsiaa says:

    “If God doesnโ€™t heal someone physically, it doesnโ€™t mean He loves them any less.” Amen… God loves all his children equally, but deals with each and every one of us differently. Someoneโ€™s test results may always remain positive, but God wants to still heal the heart, mind, and soul of his beloveds. He desires for each person’s story to point to His unfailing love. Thank you for sharing your story Naked Writer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “God loves all his children equally, but deals with each and every one of us differently.” — That’s exactly right. He deals with each of us differently, some people may share my experience and some might not… in both cases, God loves us EQUALLY. Amen! It is my hope that people see God’s unfailing love in my story. Love you girl!

      Like

  6. Joelle says:

    This is why we say there is nothing too hard for God!
    We never know the paths that God will travel through with us, and each of us has our own desert to cross.
    Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Joelle… Girl… We just never know! Sometimes when I’m struggling in my faith, He might nudge me with a reminder of this experience and then I remember that indeed — NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR GOD. Thank YOU for patiently journeying with me as I unpacked this! Love You!

      Like

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