Hey Vulnerabites… take it from me, the girl who has been dumped in ALL of her relationships… I’m not even kidding… lol (that was a very awkward lol). Whether or not I deserved to be dumped in some of those relationships, now that’s a different story. Am I the only one who’s ever been dumped before? Can I get a “me too” in the comments? lol
THIS IS LIKE THE PEAK OF REJECTION. At least for me.
So, yes ladies… he could be so into you one minute and the next he’s not, it happens… but you’ll live! I did 🙂 I’m sharing from my experiences all the…… pre-dump symptoms I’ve picked up on.
*DISCLAIMER: I do own that there were (are) some things in me that would have contributed to the break-ups and need to be healed and corrected, but that’s for another time.
Today, we focus on signs you’re about to get dumped…
So let’s get to it…
- He is not available to you. Whether that be by text, phone or to just spend time together… that notorious “I’m busy” line is for the birds! We make time for what’s important to us. If he’s genuinely busy, he should extend a courtesy text or call to say, “Hey babe, busy day ahead of me, just wanted you to know in case I don’t respond right away.” I remember getting to know a professional athlete overseas and with his rigorous training schedule… and 6 hour time difference… he was skype-calling me in the car on his way to practice. Now THAT’s how someone makes time for you.
- He does not know what you’re interested in. Because he doesn’t ask…. and he doesn’t ask, because he doesn’t care. OUCH! No. No. No. Don’t make excuses for him being shy or lacking interpersonal skills… homeboy does not care. When I was 16 yrs old, my King of Introverts boyfriend rode his bike to my house and stuffed my mailbox with Twix candy bars to cheer me up one day. He was paying attention when I spoke, asking me questions about myself and remembering what I said. If a teenage boy could put forth such intentional effort, what do the 20-30-40 something men have to say for themselves?
- He is not planning his future with you in mind. Umm, yeah, I know y’all ain’t married yet (or he’s yet to put a ring on it) but within the first year of dating (sometimes even 6 months) a man knows whether or not he will marry you. I’m not saying he has married you… I said he KNOWS whether or not he will. If all his plans are centered around himself, honey… he’s not thinking about what life will be like with you long term. Can he change? Of course! But why hang around for someone who doesn’t want you in their life for the long run!
- He does not respect what’s important to you. I’m not saying he has to agree with you, but he should respect that it matters to YOU. I remember talking to a guy who didn’t “like” my “no kissing until marriage rule” … so he called me and tried to convince me otherwise… he said that was the ONLY reason he wouldn’t date me. To the left! He missed the point… I wasn’t hell bent on not kissing… I was hell bent on trying to honor God with my purity. He was too caught up in the surface of what I said, instead of the reason behind why I said it. I’ll release you from your curious misery…Have I kissed a guy since him? Absolutely.
- He makes important decisions without you. Ohh yes. If you are on the receiving end of decisions he’s already made… Meaning he’s just informing you of his plans and not including you in the process, then you are NOT someone who’s opinion he values. Ouch! And relationships are about sharing life together… the good, the bad and the unsure. You should be the first person he wants to call to share ANY news with… and if you’re not on his T-mobile Top 5…Honey… He’s just not that into you anymore.
These tips can be applied to both, people in a relationship and those trying to figure out if he wants to be in one.
Vulnerabites… I have walked this path to “being dumped” more than once… and if you take anything from this blog, the first give away that things are headed south, is always a decrease in communication.
Don’t wait to be dumped any longer… this is your free guide to becoming the ‘dump-er’ and not the ‘dump-ee.’
PS. If this is for you, JUST DO IT. If you see your homegirl’s relationship all up in this blog … Tag her on my Instagram page and hope she stumbles on this entry.
The Naked Writer
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