So about this time last year in my blog post, Mentally I’ve Left. I wrote…
Me: I’m alright — still at my job. Want to be gone next year. Really doing myself a disservice by being there.
Guess what? I resigned from my job last week.
Ok, I didn’t quit because my business is booming and I’m getting paid way more than I did at my job … at least not yet… rather, it’s because my family has decided to re-locate back to Miami and I decided it was a good time for me to move too!
So anyway, I’m in this ‘new space’ of trying to figure out “what do I want to do next?”
I’m kind of torn between… “Follow your dreams boo!” and “Girl, you need to pay them bills!” lol.
So, there’s this girl in UK who’s on this pursuit of following her photography dreams and she released a “raw ugly truth” video where she dispelled the glitz and glam myth of self-employment that I see on social media. She actually starts crying… Man, the authenticity of this video ripped my heart wide open.
Two days ago, my friend shared a screenshot of her feature on this ‘tech’ page… It was kind of a big deal, seeing that she’s finally pursuing her dreams!!! FINALLY MADAM! lol
Side Note: She was recently let go at work and has used the time off to put energy and efforts into her ‘tech-preneurship.’ So this feature was really encouraging! Like, maybe being laid off was the gateway to her dreams coming true!
Sadly, she responded… “I sent this to seven of my friends and only two responded with something positive. Anytime I send something foolish, I hear back from them almost immediately. We’re going on 2.5 hours now.” OUCH.
Ohhhh #2, you and I have had these conversations countless times… that awkward space of a roaring silence when no one responds to our shares in a group text. Hhmmm…
So Vulnerabites, should we expect our friends to ‘support’ us or nah?
Heather Lindsey has an interesting take on it, when she tells us “DON’T EXPECT YOUR FRIENDS TO SUPPORT YOUR IDEAS!”
“Your friends might not be your audience!” — Boom! #DropTheMic, Well said Mrs.Lindsey!
Don’t get me wrong, I have a few people who religiously support my endeavors and there are others who don’t.
“Expectations are resentments in waiting.”
So, what’s the balance between “expecting my loved ones to support me” and “do they really have to though?”
I’m finding the balance by letting those who DO show support know how grateful I am… even if it’s a text that says, “hey, thanks for that share.”
And on the other hand, I’m finding it quite intriguing for complete strangers to take an interest in what I’m doing. Especially when people I’ve never met pour their hearts out in the comments of my blog, or tell me on Instagram that they’re “star struck”… HA! Thank You Ms.Janea!
There’s something refreshingly rewarding about an organic and ‘un-obligated’ like, share, comment.
I have to guard my heart against seeking validation in my friends’ likes, shares and comments.
I need to be secure in myself enough to say, “hey, if you never get a like, comment or share… keep doing what you do boo!”
My validation should be found in pleasing Christ. That’s much easier said than done, because every now and then, a pat on my back from a loved one IS encouraging.
When Samson wanted to marry a Philistine woman, not even his parents supported him… but it was part of God’s plan for his life.
I can’t get caught up waiting on claps from an audience that I may not be ‘called’ to.
So, Vulnerabites… what do I do?
I take the support of those who give it to me and I keep it moving. My friends don’t mean any harm when they don’t ‘show support’… it’s just that maybe they’re not interested in what I’m doing — AND THAT’S OK… or maybe they’re just “used to me” — Oh, that’s just Mac. –AND THAT’S OK TOO… or maybe they’re just busy with their own lives… THAT’S OK THREE—- or maybe they don’t even know that I want or need support — because maybe I look like I have it all going for me and I have a secret support group that helps make all this magic happen.
Whatever it is, I need to NOT take it personal… guard my heart from offense … and keep doing what I’m doing, whether or not I get the ‘support’ I think I’m supposed to have.
What does ‘show support’ even mean? Well, it looks different for everybody…. but between my friends and I, maybe just responding to what I share is a good start (like seriously just replying to my text). Sharing my (event/blog/business) on your social media platform. Passing it on in your group texts. Connecting me with someone who might be interested in what I’m doing… And maybe just telling me “good job friend”.
But you’re definitely not obligated to. It would just be nice.
So, note to self… my loved ones don’t owe me anything, not even support… but when I do get it, I should be grateful for it. I love them for who they are and not what they do for me.
But then again, from the innovative genius himself…
Whether you quit your job or you were let go…. Here’s to New Beginnings! And whether or not you get support for your entrepreneurial venture, Here’s to Future Successes!
So, Vulnerabites, what do you think?
Should we expect our friends to support us?
The Naked Writer