No One Came to Our Wedding.

Hey Vulnerabites,

So, there’s like this huge lump in my throat as I begin to share vulnerably about this part of my life. Like I mentioned a few blogs ago, I absolutely do not like talking about my relationship(or anything related to it), but seems to be the place that resonates with most of you. And if this blog is going to serve you… I’m going to have to get over myself… Right Ty?  #BabySteps #ThereIsLevelsToThisVulnerability

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I’m married.

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As some of you may have already gathered from my social media pics (hence the DM’s asking ‘what’s that on your finger?’) lol. I wasn’t hiding it, just didn’t talk about it outside of my small circle. #WelpThatsChanged

So, when husbae and I got married, I knew I didn’t want a wedding. The 4 weddings I went to last year, helped cement my decision. #NoShadeToTheWeddingsIAttended 

We had a private ceremony and no one was invited, with the exception of our parents and siblings, the only ‘extended’ family member was grandma!

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Thank God for Pinterest! My younger sister hooked me up with this cute little bouquet for our private ceremony!

We were so contented with our private ceremony that all we wanted afterwards was to celebrate this ‘passage of life’ with a few of our loved ones… and we did just that.

Instead of having a ‘wedding’ (so of course no one came, we didn’t have one!) …We celebrated our MARRIAGE.

And how did we do that?

We kept the day authentic to us, and didn’t succumb to the pressures of ‘unnecessary’ wedding traditions.

Life Lessons from the Wedding I Never Had:

Stay Authentic to Me.

Follow my convictions, even when it goes against the grain.

Focus on what’s important — the covenant with my husband —nothing else will matter when the event is over!

Keep it simple.

From the lips of a guest : “I’ve been delivered from the idea of what I think wedding celebrations should consist of.” 

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I’m going to share my three favorite things from our day:

  1. 100 Years of Experience – Yep! We had over 100 years of experience sitting on our marriage panel. We invited a few couples in our lives to engage with us in honest dialogue from their own experiences. We had questions for them and they had answers! One wife said, “I told him it was either the cigarettes or me!” Oh what a great time!
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The Reedys, Married 29 Years

2. For Our Guests –  We gave away books! Don’t worry, they had cake too! From the inception of our relationship, one thing we’ve always done together is read. So, we picked out a selection of books (not just marriage books) from what we’ve read throughout the course of our relationship and gave them away.

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Yes! We had our single guests in mind!

3. One Big Happy Family- Our celebration was intimate enough for all of us to gather around one table. This was with much intentionality in selecting who would be in attendance. We kept our numbers down to 50 guests. Our brunch table was on the terrace and over looked the ocean!

*It was so pweeetttttyy* 

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As simple as my heart had hoped it would be 🙂

*Our view from the table*

…and of course, after we ate… we partied like it was 1999! Shout out to the Dream Team and Mrs. Obas for HOLDING DOWN THE DANCE FLOOR!!!! WWwhhhaaatttt!!!! In the words of my mama-in-love, “your friends only stopped dancing long enough for water breaks!” 

I mean, one of my girls had the DJ come out of his booth to dance salsa with her! Did you get his number though? Hahahahaaa!!! Oh what a JOYOUS occasion it was!

So, what am I saying Vulnerabites? I’m saying this…

During the planning process:

  • I found myself envying the Munaluchi Brides of Instagram and wanting my pictures to come out just as  worthy of likes.
  • I struggled with meeting the ‘unspoken expectations’ I thought my guests would have.
  • I worried if our ‘different touches’ would come across as ‘too serious.’
  • I was a month out and still didn’t have a dress! I started to feel pressure to ‘just buy a wedding dress!’

Now that its over:

  • I can not live my real life trying to keep up with what I see on Instagram. Amen Somebody?
  • Breaking the bank on a few hours just so my pictures can rack up some likes, isn’t the kind of return I’m interested in. Hallelujah praise the Lord that we can still eat and are debt free after our Celebration!
  • Our ‘different touches’ came together so well and were a hit with our guests! In fact, people felt the panel ended too soon!!! 
  • Thank you TT for sponsoring my dress! So glad I stuck to my guns of NOT buying a wedding dress. I bought a simple white dress (on sale) from Nordstrom and it was perfect! Just what I wanted! Praise God for the loved ones that scoured through the internet at odd hours and ordering swatches of fabric that were delivered late AND wrong! lol
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Look at my $40 Aldo Shoes 🙂 Thanks for the bouquet Naomie!

To my single Vulnerabites, do you plan to have a wedding or  nah?

And to my married Vulnerabites, did you have a wedding and would you do it again?

Remember to —- SUBSCRIBE. SUBSCRIBE. SUBSCRIBE.

Yours Vulnerably,

The Naked Writer

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60 Comments Add yours

  1. I love this!! Thank you so much for sharing. This is exactly what I wanted and I may just do this in the near future lol! And you’re right, we do love it when you share these parts of your life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sharon!!! Oh glad I could put some feet to your ideas… Hope your day is unique to the two of you! Don’t fall for the ‘wedding day’ business tricks! I see that…lol… I’ll try to keep it coming!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I had a wedding and blogged about it lol. I got married last October, fairly new in the game lol I wish I would have know your blog before and during that process. If I knew then, what I know now and from reading your blog I would have done this same exact thing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Is that right? How so? Why would you have done it differently?

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      1. Where do I start? lol I would have kept it small and only invited family.. I mean that’s who all came anyway. I sent out invitations galore and half of them didn’t show. I would have opted for a smaller venue and menu and would have selected my bridal party much more carefully.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Mmhh I see… well, you could share a blog from that perspective and give others some insights from your experience. Your ‘desire to make a different choice if you could go back’ could come in handy for someone who might be where you were ☺️

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Chrissie_K says:

    This sounds like a great wedding! The ones invited are the ones you both really value, and that makes the day extra special! I know when my day comes, I want it to be simple and this has given me some ideas!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Christie! It’s a pleasure to have you! You’re our newest Vulnerabite —- Welcome!!! ☺️❤️ I’m so glad to hear that we could inspire you with some ideas of your own!

      Like

  4. Wow absolutely beautiful!! I also had a small wedding celebration. Only 50 guests. Xx

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    1. YYyaaayyy for “intimate” celebrations!!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. driftyness says:

    I totally love this! I think your ceremony looks absolutely beautiful, and I love the idea of having a marriage panel and talking candidly with couples who’ve been in it for a long time. The books were an adorable idea…the whole thing was, really. Your reception must have been so nice. If it’s a small group, I have a feeling that people might have gotten to know each other better, which makes for an enjoyable time. And to come out of a wedding with no debt!? Who’s really winning?

    I’m so happy I came across your blog! I’ve been itching for well-written, candid content, and here you are. Looking forward to reading more!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Driftyness! First let me say, “Welcome Vulnerabite!! Oh so happy to have you!” You hit it right on the head!! There were indeed relationships that came out of the intimacy of a small group! So glad you’ve enjoyed reading as much as I’ve enjoyed sharing!!!

      #Winning ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  6. racpanos says:

    All that Matters is u and your hubby. Agreement is sexier, hotter, and more perfect than anything else. Happy and Long married life 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. #MarriedLivesMatter ❤️

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  7. Will check it out for sure. Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ll be on standby for your thoughts 🙂 I’m interested in your perspective, seeing that marriage is revered in your culture… I’m interested in the ‘before marriage’ process for you!

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  8. Jaylin says:

    Mac 😭 this wedding was beautiful!!!! I get so easily overwhelmed when I feel like I have a lot of people to “impress” I have joked about having a super small/almost non existent “wedding” but this is like my jokes in visuals form and I actually love the idea 😍 everything was beautiful! My favorite part was the brunch set up and view!! What a memory!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Jaylin…Thanks so much honey! I’m starting to gather that you’re an introvert…lol. I’m an extrovert with strong introvert tendencies… So I get it! lol. So glad, I could help bring some of your thoughts to life. So, would you want to have a big or small wedding?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jaylin says:

        I’m gathering that too, crazy what adulting brings out of you lol!! I’m thinking I love the small yet beautiful scenery wedding similar to yours! I’ll be in tons of debt after school, so at the moment I can’t fathom digging a deeper hole for “likes” lol

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Girl!!! Debt for likes aint worth it! lol But you already know that! Looking forward to the day I’m reading your marriage posts! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  9. Dina says:

    Great read! Wish I was there to celebrate this unique celebration. Congrats once again!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes fam! I know you would’ve been there holding down the dance floor with us ❤️❤️❤️ So do you want a wedding or nah? 🤔 I’m collecting votes … lol

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  10. Congratulations, Mac! Wishing you and your beau a lifetime of happiness.

    I think people get caught up in traditions and keeping up with the Joneses that they forget to be authentic to who they are and their beliefs. So kudos to staying true to you. It’s hard to do that with so many people and their mamas and grandmas trying to tell you how to manage your own wedding (but that’s a different story).

    I actually had two weddings. One was a private ceremony at my parents’ house with 22 immediate family and close friends and the second was a larger ceremony and reception with about 140 guests. We rented a venue; I purchased a wedding gown. The whole nine. I would do both all over again. Especially the private ceremony. It was low stress. It was simple and I had a ball. I like to say I got married twice (but to the same person).

    Congrats again!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hey Yaa Yaa!!! Wow! Thank you sooo much hon! Did you get married in North Carolina? And was your ‘private ceremony’, the traditional Ghanian wedding?

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      1. No, both weddings were in the Atlanta area. That’s where I grew up. The first was the legal union. It was basically an upgraded court wedding. The second was a traditional Nigerian wedding. My husband is Nigerian.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh you had a NIGERIAN wedding!>!>>! Wow! Now Nigerians know how to throw a wedding!!!! My cousin married a Nigerian and all I remember is money falling from the sky while they were dancing! lol … They really know how to party!

          Liked by 2 people

  11. Jasmine says:

    You already now Sis. It’s about being authentic and intentional with me. You can’t buy that. With that said, proud that you stayed true AND was DEBT FREE in the process. I am a believer if more couples spend more time celebrating their marriage than their wedding DAY, I believe the outlook on marriage wld be vastly different than it is today. Keep going against the grain 🙂 #WeDontFollowTrends #WeSetTrends

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You and me?!?! We the same! Bahahhahaaaaa!!! IN.TEN.TIONAL… That’s my word! When I die, that’s all I want written on my tombstone. “She was Intentional.” Lol … Yes! DEBT FREE is where it’s at!!! Yes… More time on Marriage! #WeSetTrends #Journey2One #WaitingOnYourNextBlog

      Like

  12. Vanessa says:

    Congrats. Not sure about a ceremony or not.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks VP! When the time comes, it will be so clear what you want to do 🙂

      Like

  13. Joelle says:

    My takeaway…Be true to yourself and you will have no regrets. Everything was gorgeous!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha! Yes Joelle! It’s as simple as that!

      Like

  14. Soooo. This gave me absolute life! Especially the dress because I did the same thing. I found a beautiful cream dress for $80! I still have it 😊. I’ve shared my story with you and I still wouldn’t change a thing. No wedding debt, happy and will be married 12yrs in November. Simply beautiful #StayAuthentic 💕

    Liked by 6 people

    1. That’s great news!! I will stop by your blog in November to wish you..

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That is so kind of you! Love to see my Vulnerabites connecting 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    2. $80!!! Girl, I wish!!!!! lol Girl… Is it 12 years already? I met you going into your 10th year… shheesshhh!!! Time is flying! Thanks so much Amanda!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. $80 bucks lol. Have to show you a picture one day. Time is definitely flying. Congratulations again! 💕

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yes you do! lol Thank You! Big Hugs!!! Happy Early-versary!!! Muah!

          Liked by 1 person

  15. KayLuv says:

    Just beautiful… I’m glad you stayed true to yourself and it turned out just the way you wanted.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Kay! Yep! Just the way we wanted it 🙂

      Like

  16. kajemarie says:

    I really like your approach, especially the marriage panel and giving away books. I did both a courthouse wedding (just our parents, my MOH and flower girl (her daughter)) and a destination wedding. While part of me wants to say I would not spend all that money again, both ceremonies were special and we had a lot of fun. I really appreciate the way you kept your celebration authentic to you two.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Yes! We had tons of fun too! So, I get it! lol. Where was your destination wedding? And how long after the courthouse did you have it?

      Like

      1. kajemarie says:

        Cabo, Mexico. We did the courthouse ceremony 6 months prior.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oooh Mexico!!! Sounds like fun!!! I hear they offer great packages for destination weddings!

          Liked by 1 person

            1. Nice! I hope my Vulnerabites are taking notes!

              Liked by 1 person

  17. Mandy says:

    Congrats dear😊
    I love how simple your wedding was👌

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Good one. Thanks for sharing!! I love the simplicity and practicality of your wedding.. I’m from India and here we have at least 1000-1500 guests at our weddings.. And its a super stressful affair..

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Of our “Marriage Celebration” you mean ❤️☺️ OMG!!! Now THAT’s a lot of people!!! Are those people family? Or it’s the entire village? 😳

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      1. Around 500 will be part of the family I.e. parents, grandparents, siblings, first cousins and their families from both sides. The rest are friends and their family.. Certainly not the entire village.. Some people do invite the entire village, and those weddings comprise over 2500 guests..

        Liked by 1 person

        1. WwwwoooowwwW! 500!!!! That’s a HUGE family! So,have you gotten married already?

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Nope. Marriage is not on the cards yet.. Haven’t found the right man yet.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. OOohhh I see… Have you read my post “When I was Single, Nobody Told Me”? … some groundbreaking truths I wish I knew a lot earlier when I was single…lol

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