So, there’s like this huge lump in my throat as I begin to share vulnerably about this part of my life. Like I mentioned a few blogs ago, I absolutely do not like talking about my relationship(or anything related to it), but seems to be the place that resonates with most of you. And if this blog is going to serve you… I’m going to have to get over myself… Right Ty? #BabySteps #ThereIsLevelsToThisVulnerability
As some of you may have already gathered from my social media pics (hence the DM’s asking ‘what’s that on your finger?’) lol. I wasn’t hiding it, just didn’t talk about it outside of my small circle. #WelpThatsChanged
So, when husbae and I got married, I knew I didn’t want a wedding. The 4 weddings I went to last year, helped cement my decision. #NoShadeToTheWeddingsIAttended
We had a private ceremony and no one was invited, with the exception of our parents and siblings, the only ‘extended’ family member was grandma!
We were so contented with our private ceremony that all we wanted afterwards was to celebrate this ‘passage of life’ with a few of our loved ones… and we did just that.
Instead of having a ‘wedding’ (so of course no one came, we didn’t have one!) …We celebrated our MARRIAGE.
And how did we do that?
We kept the day authentic to us, and didn’t succumb to the pressures of ‘unnecessary’ wedding traditions.
Life Lessons from the Wedding I Never Had:
Stay Authentic to Me.
Follow my convictions, even when it goes against the grain.
Focus on what’s important — the covenant with my husband —nothing else will matter when the event is over!
Keep it simple.
From the lips of a guest : “I’ve been delivered from the idea of what I think wedding celebrations should consist of.”
I’m going to share my three favorite things from our day:
- 100 Years of Experience – Yep! We had over 100 years of experience sitting on our marriage panel. We invited a few couples in our lives to engage with us in honest dialogue from their own experiences. We had questions for them and they had answers! One wife said, “I told him it was either the cigarettes or me!” Oh what a great time!
2. For Our Guests – We gave away books! Don’t worry, they had cake too! From the inception of our relationship, one thing we’ve always done together is read. So, we picked out a selection of books (not just marriage books) from what we’ve read throughout the course of our relationship and gave them away.
3. One Big Happy Family- Our celebration was intimate enough for all of us to gather around one table. This was with much intentionality in selecting who would be in attendance. We kept our numbers down to 50 guests. Our brunch table was on the terrace and over looked the ocean!
*It was so pweeetttttyy*
*Our view from the table*
…and of course, after we ate… we partied like it was 1999! Shout out to the Dream Team and Mrs. Obas for HOLDING DOWN THE DANCE FLOOR!!!! WWwhhhaaatttt!!!! In the words of my mama-in-love, “your friends only stopped dancing long enough for water breaks!”
I mean, one of my girls had the DJ come out of his booth to dance salsa with her! Did you get his number though? Hahahahaaa!!! Oh what a JOYOUS occasion it was!
So, what am I saying Vulnerabites? I’m saying this…
During the planning process:
- I found myself envying the Munaluchi Brides of Instagram and wanting my pictures to come out just as worthy of likes.
- I struggled with meeting the ‘unspoken expectations’ I thought my guests would have.
- I worried if our ‘different touches’ would come across as ‘too serious.’
- I was a month out and still didn’t have a dress! I started to feel pressure to ‘just buy a wedding dress!’
Now that its over:
- I can not live my real life trying to keep up with what I see on Instagram. Amen Somebody?
- Breaking the bank on a few hours just so my pictures can rack up some likes, isn’t the kind of return I’m interested in. Hallelujah praise the Lord that we can still eat and are debt free after our Celebration!
- Our ‘different touches’ came together so well and were a hit with our guests! In fact, people felt the panel ended too soon!!!
- Thank you TT for sponsoring my dress! So glad I stuck to my guns of NOT buying a wedding dress. I bought a simple white dress (on sale) from Nordstrom and it was perfect! Just what I wanted! Praise God for the loved ones that scoured through the internet at odd hours and ordering swatches of fabric that were delivered late AND wrong! lol
To my single Vulnerabites, do you plan to have a wedding or nah?
And to my married Vulnerabites, did you have a wedding and would you do it again?
Remember to —- SUBSCRIBE. SUBSCRIBE. SUBSCRIBE.
The Naked Writer