Are you 30-Something (or about to be)? Read This.

Hey Vulnerabites,

Oh how I’ve missed y’all!

But in between the Instagram DMs and the blog comments, I manage to get my Vulnerabite fix until I break off another piece of my life with your pretty faces 🙂

Direct Message me on Instagram @YoursVulnerably

Soooo… let’s get right into it.

There’s this awkward space between the ‘end of my 20s’ and ‘tip toeing into 30s’ that no one really taught me how to navigate. I guess it’s because, we’re all just ‘figuring it out as we go’, right?

Well, a few years ago I stumbled on (my friend made me watch it) Meg Jay’s Ted Talk “Why 30 is not the new 20” and homegirl changed my life! All my 20-something Vulnerabites, there goes your homework. I bought her book and ate it for breakfast. She did a great job of scaring me into being intentional with my 20s, when she mentioned my brain having its final growth spurt at 30! WWWHHHAAATTTT!?!?!?

“Ok, so Mac you need to Workout — Eat Right — SkyDive— Travel to Europe — Get a Dating Life — Meet New People — Get Mentors — Build Better Family Ties — Invest in Friendships — Read More Books — Develop Good Habits — Loose Weight — Blah Blah Blah.” 

Let’s Connect on Instagram @YoursVulnerably

Turning thirty came with this imaginary doom and gloom, but you know what, it also came with a deep exhale, a relief, a breathing out yoga exercise that I’m going to attempt to articulate.

The sort of relief that says, “Well, now that I’ve made it to this Golden Gate not having the life that I thought I would, I can do what I want, instead of what I imagined the universe expected of me.”

Whew — Glad to get that off my chest!

Thee best thing I’ve done for my thirty-year-old-self is to hire a coach! I’ll call her my clarity coach. We spent the last three months working together, and Vulnerabites, my life will never be the same.

Disclaimer, I’ve worked with two other coaches before her in pursuit of the same thing, both — fail.

She asked simple, but probing questions that I’ve never given myself permission to answer honestly. Like, what do I want to do? — Not what I think I’m supposed to be doing, or what I think would make me look good, or what would pay the bills — but what I really want? She was almost like a counselor, letting me share my honest life desires in a non-judgmental space. She didn’t give me permission to answer with ‘idk’ or vague responses that had no clear direction. She was very good about letting me explore my answers into vocabulary that would end with practical action steps!

Let’s Connect on Instagram @YoursVulnerably

I’ll highlight three of my take-aways from our sessions:

Screen Shot 2018-06-26 at 6.23.04 PM.png
Sneak Peek into one of our virtual sessions 🙂

1. I have clarity around who Mac is and what value she brings to the world. I took about 16 different types of personality assessments (the consistency among them, a relief), and we walked through the results highlighting my strengths. I had done assessments before, but I didn’t understand how to interpret my results into a value statement and then apply it to my life. This was more than self-awareness, it was learning to advocate for Mac and marketing her confidently.

2. I had homework every week! I love homework y’all. It gave me time to do some intentional self-reflection. One of my favorite homework memories is discovering that I can actually become certified in Vulnerability research. Yes Vulnerabites! Your Naked Writer is planning on some intentional next steps for us! This blog is taking on a life of its own and I’m loving it! Hopefully sometime in the next couple of years I’ll be launching my Vulnerabite experiences, let’s say March 7, 2021 — just putting it out in the atmosphere. I could launch a pilot sooner, who knows! Kay, put me on your Event Design calendar boo!


3. Enough with the crappy living! I seriously have no excuse to fall into the life of going to a job I hate, just to pay the bills. It’s time to live my best life, 40 is on her way! Vulnerabites, if you haven’t already — find a way to invest in yourself, I ain’t talking about getting a massage, but hiring a professional who will help coach you into your next level of life. Even Oprah has coaches!!! And if Oprah has a coach… need I say more?

One of the self-limiting beliefs she helped me get rid of was, “I ain’t Oprah, people ain’t paying me to be me.

But really – they are.

When people hire Mac, they are paying for the value they believe I will bring.

One of the affirmations my coach taught me is, “As I align my career with my true talents, money and happiness flow to me.” #YesLawd #LetItFlow



Let’s Connect on Instagram @YoursVulnerably

PS. My coach offers a complimentary coaching call, you can literally schedule a talk with her right now, this takes you to her calendar. Tell her Mac sent you! No, I don’t get any commission, but I firmly believe the best compliment is a referral! Hint.Hint. If you like the blog, share it!

So, my 20-something Vulnerabites, what intentional steps are you taking to prepare you for the next decade of your life?

And my 30-something Vulnerabites, what do you wish you did in your 20s that could have added to your life now?

Yours Vulnerably,



30 Comments Add yours

  1. Ely says:

    I can’t tell you how happy I am to have bumped into your blog. And this post. I am on the brink of 33 and a disaster trying to find balance between my full time (stable , higher paying) day job and my side-business which is my passion. Not to mention kids and home a husband a dog a grandmother to take care of and last but not least, “me” as a woman. LOL. Up until THIS moment, I’ve been convinced that what I need is a psychologist. “I’m depressed” “I’m lost” “I’m anxious”… but I think you just shed
    Light onto the fact that I’m not fucking nuts, I’m overwhelmed and I need GUIDANCE and motivation. I need a coach! Ugh!!!! Someone pop the bubbly!!! Thank you so much for this!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Ely! Girl! Welcome to the club! lol. You’re not crazy boo…lol and glad I could be here to reassure you in that!

      And yes, a coach can offer us some guidance, support and clarity towards our goals that we can’t easily get on our own. I’d love to read about your journey in pursuing a coach, if you decide to do so!

      Glad to have you as part of the Vulnerabite family! Welcome!!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mandy says:

    I loved the Ted Talk😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I’m happy to hear that Mandy! Are you still in your 20s?


      1. Mandy says:

        Yes. 25! And I’m definitely going to push harder.


  3. I seriously need a coach!, mentor. lol….I always love, love, love your writing it’s so real and yet, I can understand and relate to what you’re talking about. I have to say, I’m at the end of my thirties – trying to hold on tight girl!!! It’s the big 4-0 for me next year….there are so many things I would’ve done differently in my 20’s such as (get to know me first and be comfortable with me before getting me into relationships) You go girl!!! 2021 huh, well I believe you’ll be out WAYYYYY before then – you got the goods, you planted the seeds – now let’s see that PILOT! xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Roshonda!!! As one of my Vulnerabites (Joelle) said, who is also staring 40 in the face… where there is life, there is hope… meaning it’s NOT too late to get that coach/mentor. I’m learning how to live life STRATEGICALLY… and that’s what my time with my coach has helped me to do, now that I have clarity with myself and what it is I want to do!

      Yes— I too wish I had spent more time getting to know Mac in my 20s… but hey, I’m getting to know her now.

      You believe I’ll be out way before then? Ha! Well then, I receive it! The goods? I receive that too! Your words really are affirming and encouraging! — and that is a gift! Everyone doesn’t have the ability to do that Roshonda! You’re special.

      Thanks so much for sharing honestly with us! I really do value what you have to say! *Big Hugs*

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m going to look into getting a coach Mac! & Yesssss, girl I believe in you – To God be the Glory for the gift, its his gift – just my passion. Yesss, girl I’m going into 40 doing things better than my 20s and 30s I’m looking to experience so many things. Big Hugs to you too girl. I got my pom poms and ready to cheer you on for your accomplishments. xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Jaylin says:

    I feel like my 20s are so weird lol. I just wish I could do so much more, but everyone around me tells me “you’re young…you have time” My goal at 30 is to be an established solo family attorney. I’ll just focus on finishing school first for right now 🙇🏾‍♀️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “You’re young… you have time” huh? People are still using that line?!??! HHHmmm … Do watch the Ted Talk I linked above 🙂 PS. You’re welcome in advance!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Joelle says:

    As one staring 40 in the face, I co-sign on the self investment. I wish I had spent more time taking care of myself instead of pouring the majority of my energy into others, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. But, where there is life, there is hope and it is never too late to invest in oneself. I learned how to apply the axiom “balance” to my life pretty recently, which would have been a good thing to learn in my 20’s.

    Thanks for sharing these insights, we are all striving to be the best versions of ourselves we can be and the practical tools that you share in this space is wonderful.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You took the words right out of my mouth Joelle! Where there is life, there is hope and it’s never too late!

      Glad to hear that you’ve learned the axiom balance —- even if it is recently! Better to have gotten it late, than never at all! 💙

      Excited for this front row seat on your journey – in Esther’s words 😎

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Dina says:

    It’s funny how society has been promoting this false narrative that 30 is the new 20 lol. However, in reality your 20’s and 30’s are exactly what they are, your 20’s and 30’s. Definitely wished I had a coach in my 20’s to teach me then what I know now. Let’s also say I could’ve used my 20’s in a more productive way to set myself up for my 30’s. In the end, you live and you learn!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol… Exactly! 20s and 30s are just that, separate decades in one’s life… imagine if we kept doing that with every decade, pushing it into the next… we’d be living in delayed growth and maturity. Good point Dina!

      Yes… we live and we learn! Hopefully what we’ve lived and learned we can share with those coming up after us 🙂 So their living and learning experiences can be better!


  7. driftyness says:

    I think I should really look into getting a coach in the future. I feel like I have an idea about what I want, I just don’t know what’s the best way FOR ME to get there.

    But to answer your question, I think some things I’m doing to prepare for my 30s are trying different things and allowing myself to learn from failure. When I survive failure, even if just once, I know I can survive it again. It makes me less afraid of failure going forward.

    And I used to think it a really black and white manner where I thought things were either for me or they weren’t, but I’m more “grey” now. I’ll try different things (jobs, social activities, dates, etc) and see how I react to them. That way, I learn more about what I actually like/dislike that way, as opposed to what I THINK I like.


    1. Hey Drifty girl! You hit it right on the head, coaching will help answer that question “the best way FOR ME ” — because coaching is one on one and specific to YOU. Not like sitting in a group seminar watching a motivational speaker, there’s accountability with this and the personalized guidance… priceless! You should go for it!

      I’m glad to hear that you’re giving things a try. Way to go boo! Trying new things is a great way to spend your 20s (and the rest of your life)! Glad to hear about your intentionality with this time! Kudos to you! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh hey girllllll I am 2 months away from 30 and I can’t be more excited. I don’t find it to be dreadful as most do. Although in my early 20’s I wish I’d had the voice I have now. I wish I’d had the mindset that I need to get to know myself and everything else as far as my life goes will fall into place. I fought myself my entire early to mid 20s. Now at 29 I see what the fight was for. I am still trying to figure out my purpose though. I know I want to help people but I am not sure how just yet. Your coach sounds amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! Happy early Birthday Quetia! 🙂 Yeah, that’s the thing about the early 20s, our mindset still needs maturing! Knowing that you want to help people is a good start, but it’s not enough! My coach is absolutely amazing!!!! She’s definitely going to be a staple in my life as I rise through the ranks! I’m taking her with me…lol I definitely recommend investing in yourself to get some refined thoughts around how you are to help people 🙂 Glad to be on this journey with you boo!


      1. 🤗 lots of love and appreciation… and yess for taking her with you… i love it.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Vanessa says:

    Well I’m past both of these milestones. In my forties and not sure what I am doing about anything other than getting through today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I missed your big milestone bday! Happy belated Birthday!!! Well, once you have breath, it’s not too late to start living intentionally… after all KFC was started by a retired fella 😎


  10. KayLuv says:

    It’s crazy… I’ve known what I’ve wanted to do with my life since my early 20s and “persuade it,” but the lack of confidence in myself kept me from really stepping out and showing the world my gifting. Now I’m in my mid 30s… and thanks to this amazing blog, good friends, and mentors, I’m learning to say.. Kay, you’re good enough and you can do this! Thanks Mac, for sharing your gifting and resources. It’s truly making a difference in my life.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes! I have to echo your sentiments around the lack of confidence! I had some of that too — and understanding myself enough to articulate it to someone else has been the missing piece of my puzzle.

      Aaawww thanks to the blog?!? Making a difference in your life? Really? That’s deep! 😭😭😭 Don’t make me snot and booger nose cry behind this screen please 😆

      So glad I could be here for you on the journey! What you’ve experienced is what I want for all my Vulnerabites! Love you girl 💙


  11. Tiffany says:

    Thanks, I’ll check it out. In my 20s i wish I trusted God more. I love the career, I’m in but I’m moving over to my passion as I’ve always put it on the back burner. God is definitely guiding me on this one.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Tiffany! Glad to hear you’re moving over to your passion! So proud of you 💙😎 Keep us in the loop of how that unfolds for you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Tiffany says:

        Yes thank you 😊

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Do you mind sharing with us your passion project?

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Tiffany says:

            I don’t want to reveal just yet, until it’s produced.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Gotcha! Well, we’re ready when you are! Excited for you 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

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