How Church Taught Me to Orgasm.

Hey Vulnerabites,

Sorry for the uncomfortable title, but y’all know how I do. Go ahead and scroll up, so no one will flash judgmental stares your way.

Let’s get right into it.

“The Female Orgasm” episode on Netflix’s Explained Docuseries is where it’s at. Spoiler Alert Below!

Here’s what I learned:

  1. My clit is my best friend.
  2. It’s possible for me to orgasm more than once during sex.
  3. I have to know my own body. (Simply Put: Masturbate)

What did church tell me about sex?

Before Marriage — Make sure I don’t have it.

After Marriage — Make sure I’m having it all the time.

BBbbooooooooooooooooooo church!

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Vulnerabites, I wasn’t a virgin on my wedding night, and quite frankly, I’m glad. I know I probably should somehow feel remorseful about that, but I don’t. Here’s why…

Disclaimer for the saints: I am not celebrating outrightly defying God’s word or condoning it. I do not like that I went against God’s word, but I do like what the experience taught me.

When I decided to have sex for the first time, it did not feel good. In fact, I felt like I had ‘wasted’ my first time. Anybody else out there share that sentiment?

The short version is, I struggled to orgasm, went to see a doctor and she handed me pamphlets on masturbation and bam! I was a new woman! I talk about that experience in detail here.

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So, what’s there for me to be glad about?

I feel relieved that I wasn’t a virgin on my wedding night, because I wasn’t plagued with all the ‘dos and don’ts about sex’ that the church pumped me up with over the years.

When I started to have sex, I had freedom to explore my own body and discover what made sex pleasurable for me.

Am I saying that when virgins get married, sex on their wedding night sucks? Absolutely!

Church has made us believe that if we wait for “the one”, sex will be ‘fireworks’ on your wedding night — wrong! In fact, church has never discussed with me, the power of my clit and how to bring pleasure to myself in a way that would help me communicate that to my husband. If you have a different experience, I’d love to hear about it. Here’s the first post about How Church Has Failed Me, hope you’re enjoying this sequel.

Here’s where I think the church could have served me better as it pertains to sex:

  1. Talk about it.

Not in a “that’s a dirty thing until you get married” kinda way, because it’s not true. Media makes sex look “really good” — I mean so good that the porn industry is bringing in $15billion annually. Hello Somebody!

Because the church isn’t teaching us how to orgasm? It’s up to porn, sleezy TV shows and pieces of our girlfriend’s love life to teach us these things. No bueno!

We need to talk about it, maybe a sermon about it twice a month is a good start? I kid. I kid. Not really. 

There also needs to be discussions for people who have been sexually abused. I mean how do you mentally transition something that was used to hurt you into something good? That can’t be easy.

Now as a married woman, I will not be in the pulpit with illustrations on how my husband twists me up like a pretzel to get it in real good. But I am willing to have an exploratory discussion on what I’ve learned along the way.

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I’d also like to petition for there to be a sex shop right next to the book store at church… is that too much? Am I doing the most? Lol. Quite honestly, walking into a sex store (I have a couple of times) is a bit over stimulating for me — it feels like way too much. I’d be interested in a more casual spot, where I can pick up some edible panties, some massage oil and some sex dice without feeling like a pervert. Am I the only one?

Since I’ve been married, I make it a point to read one marriage book a month and when I have the guts, I sneak in one about sex… I’m down to the last couple of minutes in this book…

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I have to be intentional with my sex life. I can’t wait on the church to teach me about the very things that ruin a marriage, like sex and money, why should they? It’s uncomfortable and awkward.

I’m thinking of a Part 3 on How Church Has Failed Me that touches on Money. Hhmmm?

Don’t worry Vulnerabites, we out here in these streets learning together.

This is one of my favorite books on marital sex— it’s totally for the husband, but good for a wife to listen in on.

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In this book, my surprising discovery was on the national percentage of how often people in good marriages have sex.

It’s twice a week.

Yep! That’s it folks — Happy Marriages have sex TWO times out of SEVEN days.

I was stunned. I always thought that for sure, couples in good marriage were having sex at least 5xs a week, boy was I in for a wake up call.

When church tells me to make sure I’m giving my husband sex all the time, it’s almost like “Make sure you serve him some booty with a side of toast for breakfast every morning.” Hahaha! Was that too much? I’m done.

Vulnerabites, Talk to me…

Where do you go when you have questions about sex?

Do you think that the church will ever come around to having meaningful discussions about sex?

Yours Vulnerably,

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64 Comments Add yours

  1. Raven says:

    I just watched the video you’ve posted and I find it interesting that I can relate to the young lady who commented stating that she had/has an addiction to masturbating, I always questioned and queried myself on the topic and never felt comfortable about having a discussion such as this one but I would like how I can deal with this as a female!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Raven! Oh my darling, welcome to the Vulnerabite family. Thank you for being so transparent and honest here — as I’ve posed this question in my other blog ( https://thenakedwriterblog.com/2018/11/07/is-it-ok-for-christians-to-masturbate/ ) , I’ve heard the general answer that masturbation is ok once it doesn’t become an addiction.

      When it (or anything) becomes an addiction, I think it might be worth going to see a professional for help OR finding a mentor/someone you can trust that you feel comfortable opening up to about it.

      I’m not an expert on addiction, but the advice I can offer with my limited knowledge of it, is to first answer honestly, “Do you want to stop the behavior?”

      If you do want to stop, find out what “gap” is the addictive behavior satisfying in your life?

      Explore when you’re most susceptible to this “habit”?

      What steps can you take to change this behavior?

      I think you may be most effective on this journey alongside someone, and not on your own.

      Big Hugs to you as you explore this place of discovery.

      Like

    2. Hi Raven,
      First I want to say – thanks for being honest and open; I think that’s the first step for any of us to take. When you say, you want to know how to deal with this as a female, are you saying that you do it and want to stop? or are you saying that you want to do it (meaning, you want to know how to deal with sexual urges?) I believe “The Naked Writer” asked the most reasonable questions that you should ask yourself – she asked that I chime in, so I guess I’m trying to see where you are in the process as I’ve been there.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. 😂😂😂😂 this post was very humorous as i read it on a Sunday when after I dressed my daughter for church. I highly doubt the church will be open about sex… as you stated they consider it to be dirty and disgusting before marriage however almost always pastors are having sex with underage girls 🤔 maybe that’s why they wouldn’t want to mention it. ( was that too much?? I work in a field where that is seen often). Anywho if waiting for sex until your wedding night I agree it would suck. Then you may not want to have sex again because the experience is so bad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey hon! Whew! You make a strong comment here — “however almost always pastors are having sex with underage girls ” — Really? Almost Always? That’s quite a huge generalization to make. Has this been your experience?

      I’m not saying because someone ‘waits’ their wedding night sex will suck — I’m saying, “the FIRST time someone has sex” it’s not likely to be comfortable. But of course, there are exceptions to this rule.

      Thanks for chiming in hon! Always appreciate your point of view!

      Like

      1. Maybe I over generalized a bit but it’s more common than you think

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You think so? Wow. Comparable to when priests were being exposed for their interactions with boys?

          Like

  3. driftyness says:

    I find it both interesting and frustrating that the church doesn’t really talk about sex beyond don’t do it/it’s only for marriage. Sex is one of the most common human activities, but it feels like the silence around it makes it out to be a shameful secret. My guess is that it’s one of the things believers struggle with the most as well. It doesn’t help that the culture of some churches/religious circles demonizes young women for showing any kind of interest in sex.

    I think you make a really good point in that it’s hard to talk about/find decent information that isn’t porn or something medical. We need something that’s relatable and accurate!

    I really think the church needs to teach people how to live out their faith in everyday life, and dealing with sex/desire is one of them. As a single person, I have questions like how do you date when hookup culture is rampant? How do you have a conversation with someone about wanting to wait to have sex? How do you find people who also want to wait? How do you manage being celibate when people are getting married a lot later than they used to?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Drifty! Please excuse my delay in getting back to you…

      But I’m here…

      “… the silence around it makes it out to be a shameful secret.” — Right! It’s the “not” talking about it, that gives it this sort of “taboo” appearance, when really, ain’t nothing taboo about some sex. You feel me? lol

      I love love love your questions as a single and your sex drive…. Very good ones indeed! I’d like to stab at them, but that’s more like “another blog post” type answers…lol.

      But I’ll take one… “how do you date when hookup culture is rampant?” — This is a good one. I dated a CHRISTIAN guy, who told me he wasn’t opposed to having sex while we dated. I was flabbergasted. In total shock. Here was the bass player IN the church and IN a CHRISTIAN band, who was trying to sell me on premarital sex. I was at a complete loss. And we know how long that lasted — not very long. My advice, have the conversation around sex very early — I think we had it as early as our 2nd date. It’s better to know up front, so no one is wasting their time.

      Hope that at least scratches the surface to your question.

      Good meaningful thoughts in your comment Drifty! I appreciate ya’ lil sis! lol

      Like

      1. driftyness says:

        A blog post like that would be really appreciated! I’d love to have these conversations, but I don’t think I have people/a place where I can actually do so.

        This is my thing. I decided to stick to dating Christian guys only because they seemed like they’d be the only people who I might get seriously involved with AND be likely to understand why I want to wait. Wow, 2nd date is super early! I haven’t dated anyone who I felt was rushing me into sex so it’s never come up, but I agree it’s good to get it out of the way earlier so we don’t waste each other’s time. I sure am looking forward to that conversation🙄 It’s right up there with the “what are you looking for?” conversation 🙄

        Sometimes your posts make me clutch my pearls 😅. But I’m really grateful that you’re starting these conversations – thank you!

        Like

  4. hot. steamy. racy but true. I think the notion of the church NOT celebrating the very thing that our Creator gives us to multiply is what leaves many feeling “this is what the hype was all about. ” Partly due to the lack of conversation and a PILE LOAD OF EXPECTATIONS that both enter into that we feel is taboo leaving a lot of ppl unfulfilled and frustrated. So, cheers to you for starting the conversation!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Expectations!!!!! Oooooo that’s a good one! Expectations shaped from the pieces we’ve gathered from media and expectations that we form in our minds, because we simply do not know what we do not know.

      Yes! Starting the conversation indeed☺️

      Like

  5. Kaje Marie says:

    Hey there! 😊 It’s been awhile since I’ve shown up in your comments. I’m back!

    Only thing church has taught me about sex is not to have it before marriage and that after marriage it is a powerful, spiritual act between “husband and wife” (I put that in quotes because they emphasize just husband and wife) and God wants us to enjoy it. Outside of that church has taught me nothing besides negative messaging you hear in most churches.

    I think I learned in one of my human sexuality courses in college that somewhere around 40-45% of women can’t orgasm (during sex). I thought I was one of them until I finally tried masturbating in my senior year of college. I think most of those women can, it’s just that they need clitoral stimulation in order for it to happen. But if we as women can’t find our own clit how do we expect someone else to?

    Sex on your actual wedding night? I didn’t know it really happened! We had 2 weddings and didn’t have sex on either. Maybe it’s different for virgins, they might do whatever they can to ensure it happens because they’re finally allowed to. I hear that most other couples are too darn tired.

    And porn… I have some issues with porn. It can be very addictive just like any other drug. And it also portrays unrealistic sexual experiences. You have some people masturbating to that stuff as teens and thinking that certain things are okay and end up having unhealthy sexual relationships in real life. But that’s a much longer conversation.

    I’m not sure what and how much I believe the church should teach on this stuff. My personal approach if I had kids would be to take responsibility for it myself and teach my children. I don’t want to leave it up to someone else.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kelli honey! It’s always a pleasure to have you grace my comments with your thoughtful presence 🙂

      This is news to me —“40-45% of women can’t orgasm (during sex)” — I think this is my first time hearing this.

      We share the same “sex talk at church” experience , so you get where I’m coming from.

      Porn? Don’t wanna go there.

      But I like how you finish, “if we have kids, it’s up to us to take that responsibility”— let me know how that goes for you…lol… seriously! I wonder if we would have met by the time we have kids! lol.

      Big Hugs to you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kaje Marie says:

        I would hope that statistic has changed by now. I think I took that class around 2011, but that’s what was reported then.

        👀 I have watched porn in the past, don’t get me wrong but I still think there are a lot of issues with that industry.

        They’re going to be some super awkward conversations, but they need to happen. No one else is doing it unfortunately. …looking forward to our first face to face conversation! 😊❤️ hugs!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. ‘…they need to happen.” — Yes they do!

          “No one else is doing it unfortunately” — Uuummm that’s why we’re here! lol

          Indeed… face to face — loading!!!! lol

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Beutiflee says:

    Ok, I had to reread the post before I made a comment. Was at work earlier and couldn’t put my thoughts together.
    I would say I agree and disagree at the same time.
    Let me explain.
    First, I do agree with you, concerning church engaging more sermons and teachings about sex. They seem to gloss over it fast because they don’t want to offend anyone. Sex is created by God. He didn’t say we couldn’t have sex or talk about it. God commanded that we wait until marriage. Because in all honesty that’s when you can go all out and do the pretzel moves, etc. (Can’t wait until my boaz comes, boy oh boy is he in for an adaventure) I distress, 😆 . Talking about sex in church shouldn’t be a dirty word, because guess what it’s everywhere, commercials, movies, books, social media, anywhere our eyes can see, it’s all about sex. Pastors need to widen their minds and open their mouths on discussing sex, because it could be what can shift this nation back to Christ.
    Secondly, I disagree with having a sermon about masturbation, because all honesty not many people enjoying doing it to themselves. I don’t! Yes I know it’s a way to explore the body and finding the pleasurable spots. But I enjoy having that kind of fun with my husband and learning new ways to enjoy intimacy. Sex talk and what you and your spouse like to do should be discussed amongst yourselves. Sadly, there are marriages where people don’t see a need for sex, or exploring it for pleasure. I will never understand couples who don’t talk about sex or stop havin sex when children come in the picture. Wow! I couldn’t even survive without being intimate with my husband, because it’s more than just being physical, it’s a vulnerability you both share, and it’s amazing when two hearts beat as one. If you know what I mean.
    But there is a real reason sex should be done after marriage. God commands it for a reason, not to deny us the fun out of life. Actually it’s quite the opposite. When we wait until marriage for sex, it strengths your faith muscles even more, your mindset sees things differently when you wait until marriage, and your feeding your spirit more. It’s a long list of why sex should be held until marriage.
    My first time was great and with a man who was the most gentle person I’ve ever met, but we were not meant to be married back then. God shown me why! But that’s for a later storytime.
    Anyway, I learn from my experiences and I choose to wait until marriage to be intimate. And God and I know why and I see the reason for it. But I always enjoy your post because these are topics we should talk about. Stop hiding behind fantasy and hit the ground running with our reality. Avoiding important topics, can ruin a teaching moment, because we always learn it from the world and they tend to steer us in the wrong direction most times.
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Tiff! My Blog Bestie!!! I always look forward to your thoughts — and this is exactly why —- because we can have healthy opposing views on a topic and I love the discussion and perspective that offers.

      To your points:

      1) “because guess what it’s everywhere— Pastors need to widen their minds and open their mouths on discussing sex” — Exactly my point.

      2) “I disagree with having a sermon about masturbation” — Really? Check out the comment from ‘goldenlifemusings’ she literally just shared a sermon her pastor preached on masturbation. To be quite honest, even if it isn’t preached from the pulpit, I do think the church needs to engage in discussion around the topic. I’m not an advocate FOR or AGAINST it, I’m an advocate for the discussion around it.

      And here my friend is where you sum up the reason I write: “I always enjoy your post because these are topics we should talk about.”

      That’s all I’m asking for — “Let’s come to the table and talk.” Yours Vulnerably.

      Big Hugs to you Tiff! Hope we get to meet one day!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Beutiflee says:

        Oh God will make it so we can meet.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Jaquis says:

    This was a great read. I honestly have so many thoughts I don’t know where to start. I will say this: my church had a group that focused on sex and sexual experiences, etc, and it was amazing; but I still think they missed the mark when speaking about sex in a positive light and they did not have any real answers as to how to deal day-to-day.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Mmhhh real answers for the day to day! Right. The practical application part.

      I think your church was still quite progressive to even have a group dedicated to sex and sexual experiences! Never heard of that. That’s a new one for me 🙂

      Like

  8. Didi says:

    So I decided to read your blog again and do a quick google research on masturbation and the bible. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it looks like the bible only considers masturbation “due” to lustful thoughts a sin. However, the act of masturbating itself is not a sin? So masturbating without fantasizing is acceptable? Hopefully a biblical expert can clarify this.

    Although, I feel the church should cover all aspects of day-to-day life experiences (simply because of their portrayal) I also believe people should discover things on their own and make their own opinions. The bible scriptures are the same around the world yet every pastor, pope, bishop, etc, will preach based on their biases, perspectives, personal experiences and comfort zone. Not every pastor feels comfortable in their own sexuality and sometimes providing a rigid sermon on sex (which is a disservice) is the easy way out.

    At the end of the day, every decision someone makes in regards of their sexual experiences (consensual of course) is the right one for them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Didi!! Google huh? You and Rick should link up for coffee…lol

      —-If people actually met and married from meeting in the comment section of my blog, I would totally expect to be invited to the wedding! #JustSaying— I digress.

      “the bible only considers masturbation “due” to lustful thoughts a sin. However, the act of masturbating itself is not a sin? So masturbating without fantasizing is acceptable? ” — This is the golden question!!!!!

      Bible Experts — where art thou????!?!?!

      ______________________________

      For sure, people should also do their OWN learning and make choices on what is suitable for THEIR OWN life… but I do think that those of us in the faith, who rely so heavily on the scriptures (preached through pastors) as a guide for our lives sometimes need help in translating it into a practical action step for our lives.

      So, what I’m saying is — as a married Christian woman, if I go seek out my own info on sex, it’s likely in the form of scientific research or borderline pornography. The documentary, “The Female Orgasm” was like such an eye opener and a relief for me to watch something that didn’t feel like I was two clicks aways from a porn site. Am I making sense?

      These conversations need to be had in church. Period.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Didi says:

        Sounds like we’re saying the same thing essentially. I agree that the church should have these conversations and use the bible to have an open dialogue on sex. I simply believe that it shouldn’t be the only place where a Christian seeks its knowledge on sex whether it’s marital sex or not. Keep in mind the “messenger” is just another human being with its own experiences, mindset and insecurities. So the information could be limited or biased. I can truly say, the proof is in the comments… lol. Everyone has a different experience when it comes to discussions on sex in the church. I think it’s good to gather information from everywhere and keep what works for you.

        Btw, keep me posted on the golden question! Haha

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Didi!!!

          I absolutely agree with you on this — “it shouldn’t be the only place where a Christian seeks its knowledge on sex”.

          Indeed the “messenger” is another human, but I would still appreciate the discussion in the space of church.

          And here you say it so well, “the proof is in the comments… lol” — That’s right! This is evidence that people want a space to talk about this — believers and unbelievers alike. #VulnerabiteExperienceComingSoon

          Like

  9. K says:

    I totally get you on the sorry not sorry I had sex before marriage. I believe it can be good and bad. If your previous partner was the bomb in bed you kind of expect that level of pleasure or more from your spouse which may or may not cause expectations issues and disappointment. Of course in marriage you expect your sex life to be a continuous process of wanting to please each other and therefore you learn and try different things.
    In regards to the church, as a previous post stated some churches do teach on sex and premarital counseling should address all matters pertaining to sex; however sex continues to be taboo in a lot of churches.
    I think as Christians we know the word of God and can seek knowledge and truth from it on our own. So sex isnt dirty. Masturbation however taps into self gratification and addiction etc which is harmful and therefore should be avoided but you and your spouse should freely take the time and explore and try those pretzel positions you eluded too 😆😆

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Right! So I’ve heard that argument, the comparison thing. It may be someone else’s struggle, but it isn’t mine. Even before I was “saved”, I always wanted to wait for marriage — was never a religious reason for me holding out as long as I did. So whenever I had it — I was plagued with this, “I didn’t wait for marriage guilt” — but NOW with my husband, the guilt-free sex is everything!!!

      “premarital counseling should address all matters pertaining to sex” —- HHmmm that’s a good one.

      But I do think sexuality needs to be discussed beyond engaged couples in a counseling session. For an industry bringing in $15billion annually, a few sessions between engagement and the wedding doesn’t cut it for me.

      Masturbation? Hmm — I wrote a whole blog on that one and my thoughts are in there. ( https://thenakedwriterblog.com/2016/06/08/she-asked-me-do-you-masturbate/ )

      Pretzel positions…lol. We are exploring away … and with no guilt 🙂

      Like

  10. Rick says:

    Wow!! What an interesting read. When I want to know something about the opposite sex, I google. There is some very interesting facts and opinions out there. Thanks for keeping it real, that was very refreshing..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol… Rick!

      Welcome to the Vulnerabite Family!!! So glad to have you 🙂

      So do I!!!! But it’s so much better for ME to engage in conversation around these things. I usually prefer human interaction… but I totally understand if there’s a population who is totally ok with just getting facts from google and moving on with their lives. Thanks for sharing that!

      Like

  11. “Sorry for the uncomfortable title, but y’all know how I do.” lol its your blog no need to apologize and good points you mentioned

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lol… It was a “sorry. not sorry” version of sorry 🙂

      Like

  12. Joelle says:

    Certain conversational taboos stem from a cultural perspective. These conversations used to be reserved for the family, behind closed doors. People’s perception of the church and what it’s purpose is, is different for different generations. I think Goldenlifesmusings makes a good point. I guess finding the congregation that meets your needs is a responsibility that believers have to take on.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “What it’s purpose is, is different for different generations” — Really? Church should guide me in my life, no? Is sex a new generation thing?

      Conversations like this were reserved for family? Really? So back in the day, families were talking about these things over dinner?

      All I’m saying is, I’d love for church to help me live practically. How do I live here on this EARTH? I don’t need guidance on how to live in Heaven, because I won’t need it then.

      Help me to live now. — That’s all I’m trying to say.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Kaje Marie says:

      Did your family actually discuss these kinds of taboo things? (It’s a shame they are even considered taboo) From my understanding these conversations don’t happen at the family level either which is why many people are ill equipped to discuss or address money and sex. The only thing I was taught about masturbation was that it was something teen boys start to do during puberty. I was only told “you can get pregnant now” once I got my period. And I definitely didn’t get the best teaching on money either. All of what I’ve learned that’s actually been valuable I had to seek out myself from the Internet, books, classes, or professionals.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Whose family? For sure not mine. It was basically. “Sex? Don’t Have it.”

        Yes — Masturbation was a thing boys did when puberty hit! In fact, it was also in reference to boys that I learned about wet dreams and them waking up with a “hard on” at 13.

        Yep! Agreed. All my learning has been reading and girlfriend chats! —And that one doctor who handed me those special pamphlets! lol

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Kaje Marie says:

          Sorry I was responding to the other person that said these were private family convos

          Liked by 1 person

  13. R. Leckey Harrison says:

    I remember the days of being a believer, and this was one area the church still gets wrong because of the patriarchal double standard.

    When I first got “saved,” I joined a church that railed against gays. It’s Biblical, you know? Then by odd circumstances, we discovered the pastor was indeed, gay. I anonymously called an inner city ministry to discuss next steps, and the pastor I was talking to knew the church I was from, and the pastor. He said, “A lot of your members come see us for counseling on sexual issues. When there is an unresolved issue in a/the shepherd(s), it slides right on into the sheep.”

    Just look at today’s church (my experience was in the 70s), and you’ll see that the situation hasn’t changed. I wouldn’t consider them a good resource for sexual life knowledge.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! What does this mean “I remember the days of being a believer”? Are you no longer a believer?

      About this gay pastor — wow!

      “When there is an unresolved issue in a/the shepherd(s), it slides right on into the sheep.” — I don’t believe this.

      If my pastor has issues, they can’t possibly also become my issues. No sir! Not accepting that!

      If I was in your church, his “unresolved gay issues” would not ‘slide right on into me.’ Sorry.

      In the 70s huh? It’s amazing that the church hasn’t taken on more bold conversation around these sorts of topics, especially with how aggressively the rest of the world is taking on these subjects.

      I hope there’s a pastor somewhere reading my blog getting some inspiration for ‘real life’ sermons.

      I really appreciate your comment! If I haven’t already welcomed you… Welcome to the Vulnerabite Family!

      Like

  14. Haha!!! I honestly DO NOT think the church will ever come around and talk about sex the way it should be talked about. I mean, that’s a Sin isn’t it???…(BIG LOL HERE). I love the way you broke this down and glad you shared your experiences. To be honest, the church makes masturbation sound like a bad thing but doctors encourage it….so what is right? I always love your posts and I have to look into that book =)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “To be honest, the church makes masturbation sound like a bad thing but doctors encourage it….so what is right?” —— Exactly! So what is right?!??!?! That’s the conversation we need to be having. Because it’s coming from doctors— not sleezy TV shows, right?

      “I love the way you broke this down and glad you shared your experiences.” —- Thank you ever so kindly! I usually just take a chance sharing my experience, wondering if anyone else relates. lol.

      Let’s see how the people respond!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know right?????….lol.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. SOOooooo Are you gonna tell us? lol… I feel like you’re a doctor or psychologist of some sort!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. BAHAHAHHHAHHAAAAALOLOLOLOLOL – Girlllllllll, Bye!!!!! LOL LOL LOL – I’m so ticked right now…I can’t even talk…..LOL LOL

            Liked by 1 person

            1. So is that a no??? Lol #justteasing

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Haha. I could answer to the best of my ability…lol

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Would love to hear it 🙂

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Cool. Let me know where and when – didn’t know if you wanted me to spill the juice all here = )

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. *Rushes over to post this question in new blog*

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. Wasn’t Kidding 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. Okay. Do you want me to leave my answer here? Or in the new blog…

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. The new blog please 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

                    5. Hahhaaa… Thanks! Catching up with comments now 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

  15. Thank you for this! I agree, it’s important for the church to talk about all the things that believers are struggling with, including the big ones like sex and money. I don’t want to act like I’m a commercial for my pastor again but that is in fact, one of the reasons why I chose my church. Our pastor has real, practical conversations with his congregation, despite the hate emails some of the saints will send to him afterwards. He frequently talks about sex (within marriage) from breaking down the Song of Songs to masturbation. Yes, he did an entire sermon on masturbation. It was awkward, but necessary. He also frequently talks about money and multiple streams, even down to how to manage money. My point is, there are some churches, like mine, that are progressive enough to give the people what they need, but there absolutely needs to be more of them.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. ” Yes, he did an entire sermon on masturbation.” — REALLY?!?!? If you have that Youtube link — please do drop that right here in a comment! I would definitely be interested in watching how he spoke on the topic.

      Your church is probably an anomaly, but it’s great to here that there are some churches challenging the status quo.

      Like

      1. Lol yep, here is the link to my pastor’s sermon on masturbation.
        http://zionlandover.com/sermon/119-the-marriage-laboratory-pt-5

        While it was part of a series on marriage, he discusses it within and outside of the context of marriage.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Why Thank You Kindly! Wow… he preached this in 2013>!>!>! That’s interesting! Going to check this out for sure.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Yep, and he’s preached on many more “controversial” topics since then. You’re welcome, would love to hear your thoughts once you’ve watched it!

            Liked by 1 person

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